DAVEN
Wala akong pakialam kung may dala siyang ibang babae sa bahay. I have no love for him—nor does he for me. Wala kaming pagmamahalan. We are only bound by this because of our father. Because of their selfish decision—they forced us to get married. We had no power to disobey them, no matter how much we wanted to. This was a battle we both lost long before it even began.
We are both still studying. And we are also classmates. We are both graduating with a degree in Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA). Hindi ko gusto ang kursong ito, pero wala akong choice. Nasa ilalim pa rin ako ng aking malupit na ama. Wala akong kalayaan. My life had been mapped out by someone else, and I was too weak, too controlled, to even resist.
Noon pa man ay napagkasunduan na nila na ipakasal kami sa isa't isa—pero ngayon lang ito natupad. Years of silence and pretending it would never happen only made the reality sharper, more painful. We really thought na hindi na matutupad. Pero mali kami pareho. The chains they wrapped around us only tightened with time, until the weight was unbearable. Napabuntong-hininga ako at nilagpasan sila sa living room.
They are kissing as if I am not in the living room. Wala silang pakialam. As if this wasn't my life, my home. But it was never truly mine, was it? Alam ko rin na lasing itong si Dasmond. He's been drowning himself in alcohol since the day we exchanged vows, a bitter attempt to numb the reality we're both living in. Ever since we got married, he's only been drinking. And I understand him—because of this shît, his girlfriend broke up with him. She left him broken, and now I was the unwilling companion in his shattered world.
Pumasok ako sa kwarto ko at agad na humiga sa kama. The silence in my room was deafening, drowning out the echoes of their laughter downstairs. I missed my old life. I missed everything. Bawat malaya kong araw, bawat paghinga na hindi ko kailangang pag-isipan. All of it, gone in the blink of an eye, stolen by a decision that wasn't mine to make. There was nothing left for me in this life but compliance and endurance.
Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako. Naisip ko, siguro dahil sa pagod na hindi ko matanggal-tanggal. Pagod hindi lang sa katawan kundi pati sa utak ko. Pagod sa lahat ng pwersang kinailangan kong tiisin para lang ituloy ang buhay na ito. All this pressure, all these expectations—they were suffocating, consuming me bit by bit.
Nagising na lang ako nang may maramdaman akong kamay na humaplos sa mukha ko. Malamig ang hangin sa kwarto, pero ang haplos niya ay nagdala ng init na hindi ko inaasahan. It was soft, almost delicate, as if he didn't want to disturb me, but he couldn't help it.
I opened my eyes and saw Dasmond sitting at the edge of the bed. He looked like a ghost of himself, the shadows under his eyes telling stories of sleepless nights and regrets too heavy to carry. He still smelled of alcohol, a scent that was becoming too familiar, but the expression on his face was serious. It was as if he was carrying a burden he couldn't shake off, some resentment he couldn't let go of.
"Sorry," bulong niya, marahan ang bawat salita. His voice cracked under the weight of that single word. Sorry for what? Para saan ang sorry? For this marriage? For this life we were forced into? Or was it for something else, something deeper that he couldn't even admit to himself? Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nag-sosorry, at para saan. Parang napaka-bigat ng kanyang tinig, puno ng emosyon na hindi ko mawari.
Hinila ko ang kumot para takpan ang sarili ko, pero bago ko pa magawa, naramdaman kong hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. Bigla, ang lahat ng sakit at pagod ay parang naging mas mabigat. Ang init ng kanyang balat ay parang alon na nagpalakas ng tibok ng puso ko. Bakit ganito? Bakit ngayon ko lang napapansin ang init ng kanyang kamay? How could something so simple feel so overwhelming? It was as if I was waking up to a reality I had refused to see.
YOU ARE READING
BEARING THE BILLIONAIRE'S HEIR
Romance"I do not love him. We're just bound by their selfish decision"