POLAROID. // Billie Eilish Oneshots

Hostage. // SEMI-ANGST.

(yes, this is inspired by hostage. and sorry, i haven't uploaded, i just got out of my exams and phew. that shit was horrifying. and i lied, there is no fluff or smut just pure depression.)

!not proof read!

[pawn]

her eyes-it's inexplicable, but they looked kind, innocent and pure. it really ruined the facade of her tough personality, they were so bright, and lively.

unlike her, so ruthless and impatient. but that's what i love about a person, their flaws. it's as if, i'd like to stay with them, as if i would have wanted an exceptionally irritating buzz in my ear, but with the beautiful melody playing in the other i can't help but not bother.

her eyes were freezing cold, my eyes were burning ablaze. how blind she was, to have turned me down. but i love her, so much, it's unreasonable and ignorant for me to chase after someone who wont catch me.

but i'd like to try once, just a last resort before my feelings are isolated in a box of built-up trauma. but in my hopes and desires not to be wasted away, i'll keep on sticking to her.

like a reaper i'd let her take my soul without any other commentation, my obsession a verge and sudden chemical imbalance, which people call 'love'.

"snap out of it, vada." billie snapped both of her fingers infront of me, my trance breaking as i was met with those eyes, the ones to replace a geode if amethyst were to be a crystal, heavenly blue.

"yeah, yeah. sorry." i apologized quickly, she only shook her head and sighed dissapointingly. "this assignemnt is due next week, we barely have any progress because you wouldn't tell me about anything." billie threw her hands up, in a defeating manner of annoyance and irritation.

"It's not my fault i don't want to open up about my past. what's the point of this assignment anyways if we still won't be friends by the rest of this school year, let alone be near eachother in a 7 meter radius." i reluctantly bit back, her face showing a clear sign of anger.

"yeah sure, as if i'd want to fail the first semester because some idiot is too sensitive to tell be about some of their childhood stories." billie rebelled against my response, the air growing thicker with agressive tension.

the only true reason i loved her was because i only saw her as a muse, i wasn't into the anticipation of any romantical relationship. especially with her atitude, her mouth blabbering insulting phrases.

"yeah, and this 'idiot' you're so pressed about, doesn't give a fuck." i responded, rolling my eyes as her hands met the collar of my shirt.

"what the fuck did you just say to me?" she hiseed.

sometimes her agressive tendancies are a cause of her brain not being able to properly comprehend emotions, later after this a tic attack would be present and she'd be silent the whole night once again.

i rephrase this as if i'd felt it a million times, as if i'd beared my eyes upon this scene chartlessly. but it was my inability to not care, that gave me the insufficient knowledge to stop my obsession.

her sparks of anger only happened twice, including the one to happen now. but i say it as if i'd known her for so long, like we've been friends. but truly, we've only known eachother for 2 weeks.