POLAROID. // Billie Eilish Oneshots

The Hospital Tiles Are Cold. // ANGST.

(so. i haven't published any angst yet. so i'm officially freeing this endangered creature ouside of my drafts and giving it a chance to shine.)

w a r n i n g s ; a.s. (attempted slipandslide)

billie

i ran through corridors, the sound of my boots echoing through the hall as i reached to the room vada was assigned to, room 503.

i panted heavily, my breath shortened when i rushed upstairs, the curtain of her room partially opened as she layed staring at the window.

i managed to gather some strength into opening the door, vada's head turned to look at me, an expression of regret flushed against her face.

i quickly shut the door, aware of the paparazzi following me inside the building.

"vada. vada... baby." i breathlessly said, the dark circles in her eyes looked like two pitless voids as the sight of her tired look dawned upon me.

the hospital tiles are cold.

my knees crumbled as i stared at her, my lips quivering as tears fell down my eyes. i felt the cold tiles of the hospital room embrace my knees.

my breathlessness accompanied with my incapability to resist crying, i simply dissolved next to her hospital bed, her hand resting on mine as i held onto the railings on the side of it.

she stared at me with empathy, the breathing tube on her nose highligted her suffering as i roared out in distraught, my feelings horrificly pouring all over the sound of raindrops against the window.

her breathing was unsteady, the other side breathed up first as the other was left behind. quiet sniffling echoed through my ears amongst my cries.

her hands coming to hold my cheeks and pull me to face infront of her. "i'm sorry." she mumbled, pulling me in, the thin fabric of her hospital gown made her shiver under the cold.

i wasn't outraged when she attempted to end her own life, i was horrified, i was simply, the epitome of sadness.

she cradled me like a child, we didn't dare to speak, we both drowned in the feing of sadness. the comfort of her warm touch held me close, only short sniffles escaped through our voices.

she held onto my shirt, her face twisting to discomfort as she cried.

no words could be said between us, but we surely had a lot to say.

we couldn't speak,

we drowned in words we had wanted to say, but never get the chance to do so.

the stillness of the air, and the smell of her perfume bought me back home. but my home is simply lost, her shine dimmed as i remembered what i was here for.

"vada, why would you do that?" i choked, my nose was red, my eyes were brimmed with tears, tears that had no purpose but to simply express my emotion.

"i was scared, billie. i didn't want to do it, but it felt right." vada frowned, a tear slipping from her cheek. i wiped it with my thumb, my hand cupping the side of her face.

"vada, please don't do that again. i was so scared. so. fucking. scared." i sobbed, leaning for my lips to catch her forehead, a light kiss on the surface.

she gave a small sigh, my eyes caught the glimpse of hers. i looked at her as my lips kissed my teeth, my face was partly red due to my excessive crying.

"please. i begged god not to take you back then, and i'll beg you so you don't lose yourself." i pleaded, she looked at me, her expression only with a lonely tear.

(i know billie is agnostic, but refer to this as a refrence to her desperation.)

vada turned away from her, looking at the raindrops on the window. "i'll try my best." she whispered, i held both of her hands, clasping them in between mine.

a nurse walked into the room, i quickly wiped my tears, lookign at vada as i dragged a chair to the side of her bed. "good morning ms. williams, and... ms. o'connell." the nurse stated, reading through a file as she flipped the page of her drawing board.

"doctor murphy is currently unavailable, so i had come to take for his place." she lightly excuses herself to clear her throat. "you only suffered minor injuries, other than the bruising on your throat you should pretty much be fine. after your fall, we check if you had any internal bleedings, but you're currently clear from any signs." the nurse stated, looking at me and vada as i held her hand tightly.

"not to intrude in your personal life, but i really reccomend a therapist, if you haven't been able to try. it's not an obligation for you to do so, i'm just reccomending you some help so you can further avoid thse circumstances in the near future." the nurse stated, i nodded, vada sat int he bed as her back slouched, looking at the plant beside her bed.

i thanked the nurse, quickly diverting my attention to vada. "hey, if you don't mind i have finneas, my mom and dad waiting downstairs, i know how much yo ulove them, but i wasn't so sure they'd want to intrude, or you'd want them to not see you due to your condition. but hey, if you want to, i'm right here."

"thank you billie."

"no problem, princess."

(rushed an unedited if you see a spelling mistake impale my asshole)