I start listening to CAS whenever I miss you. Do you still remember when I once told you how their song 'Apocalypse' reminds me of you? Back then, I'd play it whenever you're gone for a long period of time, and cry to it, thinking how it much it hurts to miss and long for your presence so badly. And then, once you're back, all of the hurt doesn't matter anymore, all because you're finally here.It's been a month and two weeks, how have you been? How's life treating you? Sometimes I'd have the urge to ask about your wellbeing to our mutual friends. But I'd rather not, because I'd once again fall into deep sorrow.
I'd rather not know about you anymore. I'd rather not be aware that you exist. Because when I do remember that you are real, my chest feels tight, and I go on a spiral, wishing that maybe in the future we'd meet by chance. Though I'd rather not, really. Perhaps I'd rather not.