A Beautiful Tragedy

Chapter 1

''I am glad to have you back, (name)"

Despite his formal greeting, you can tell he is very happy and excited yet he hide it so well with that calm, small, and welcoming smile on his face. You smile back at him as you hold the urge to run up to him and bring him into a tight hug. He have grown so much since your last visit three years ago. You couldn't come to his birthday but you did send him a gift by using your crow to deliver it quickly and secretly.

It wasn't very easy with so many eyes on you. You can tell they were itching to jump at you just for the slightest mistake you make. Like the moment you do something that seem slightly suspicious to them, they will kill you. Well... not really, you can easily use your strength to kill them but you're so fucking scared and hesitant which made you hate yourself for it.

You are so damn weak.

''Yes'' you replied ''i am glad to be back, Ciel'' you briefly glance at his butler and already sense that something is wrong with him. You don't know what it is exactly. But whatever it is, he is not normal.

''The young master and that man are referring each other by their names!" You hear the young blond guy whisper to the others who are just as confused as him, innocently confused, not the type of judge ones and you felt relieved by that. Those type of stares makes you suffocated when people judge you.

Seeing you staring at the servants, Ciel clear his throat ''right, those are my servants: Mey-rin, Finny, Baldroy, and Tanaka" your eyes widen as a gasp left your mouth ''Tanaka...'' the older man gently smile at you ''it's been a long time, (name). I'm happy to see you again, looking healthy. I still remember when you were young, you didn't take a good care of yourself very well'' you approach him and hold both of his hands ''Tanaka, y-you're..." fuck, you're going to cry and in front of people too.

Yeah no, that's not happening.

He smiles at you and squeeze your hands ''you've grown'' he said before Ciel spoke ''(name), I hate to ruin the moment but we must go to my office and talk'' he sounds so serious, not like the little boy you knew when you were young. Then again, that incident changed him.

You pull your hands away from Tanaka's gentle grasp and look at him ''yes, of course'' you follow Ciel upstairs while his butler walk away to a different direction, probably to get some snacks, until you both reach his office. The door close and you both silently stare at each other.

There are so many things left unsaid between you both. You wanted to get on your knees and cry as you apologize for not coming to save him during that time. You hate yourself so much for not doing anything and it's all your fault for getting caught by those bastards.

The torture you went through was horrible but you accepted it. It was your punishment for not coming right on time to save him. It was all your fault and Ciel was suffering because of you.

''You're shaking'' he stated ''take a seat-'' ''Ciel'' you immediately drop down on your knees right in front of him and hold both of his hands ''i'm sorry...'' your voice is shaky as you hold back your tears ''i am so sorry'' Ciel looks at you with a mix of surprise and anger in his eyes.

He knows that you have been blaming yourself ever since you found out about what happened to him and his parents since he sent you a letter after his escape. He didn't tell you that his butler is a demon though, because he was too focused on assuring you so many times that it is not your fault that he ended up writing eleven letter and sent them to you at the same time. Yet, he shouldn't be surprised that you didn't care about his words and start hating yourself for it.

"(Name)" He narrow his eyes at you whilst you cry and sob at his feet. He fucking hates it when you feel so miserable about yourself. Even when you were young, you were always like that but he didn't notice because he was a naive child, blindly believing in your false smiles, not realizing that you were suffering while playing with him. How could he have not notice back then? ''Didn't you read the letters I sent you?''