19 Days Under The Sun

Letting Go

As Lila sat on the couch, watching the candle flicker in the soft evening light, she couldn't help but feel the weight of her thoughts pressing in. Despite the light-hearted day at the market and Raine's infectious energy, there was still an undercurrent of heaviness beneath it all. The idea of letting go, of truly releasing the burdens she had carried for so long, seemed both liberating and terrifying.

Raine was flipping through a magazine absentmindedly beside her, occasionally glancing up at the candle. "You know, it's funny how something so simple can feel so... monumental," Raine mused, gesturing to the candle with a nod of her head. "It's just a flame, right? But the act of focusing on it, of giving it meaning, changes everything."

Lila smiled, her fingers tracing the smooth surface of the candle's ceramic bowl. "Yeah, it's like you're giving yourself permission to let go. To let the flame do the work."

Raine sat up a little straighter, looking more serious than she had all day. "So, what exactly are you letting go of?"

The question hung in the air between them, and Lila found herself instinctively pulling her legs up onto the couch, hugging her knees to her chest. She had known this question would come. It wasn't just about lighting a candle—it was about confronting everything she had been avoiding.

"I think..." Lila began, then paused, taking a deep breath. "I think I'm letting go of this constant need to prove myself. I've spent so much time pushing myself, trying to be successful, trying to be everything everyone expects me to be. And it's exhausting. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm not enough unless I'm doing more."

Raine nodded, her face softening. "That's a big thing to carry. And I get it. I think we all have this idea in our heads that we need to be perfect, that if we're not always doing something, we're failing."

Lila exhaled slowly, her eyes fixed on the candle's flame. "Yeah. And I'm tired of that. I came here hoping to find some clarity, but I think what I've really needed all along is to stop. To stop chasing, to stop trying to control everything."

Raine leaned back, pulling her legs up onto the couch too, mirroring Lila's posture. "You're right. But letting go of control... that's hard. Especially when it's all you've known for so long."

Lila nodded. "It's terrifying, actually. But I'm starting to realize that I can't keep living like this. I thought if I just worked hard enough, everything would fall into place—my career, my happiness, everything. But it's not happening. I'm just... tired. And scared."

Raine's expression softened even more, and she reached out, placing a hand on Lila's knee. "It's okay to be scared, Lila. But look at how far you've come already. You're facing it. You're here, you're doing the work. That takes courage."

For a moment, they sat in silence, the candle flickering gently between them. Lila felt the weight of Raine's words settle over her, and in that stillness, she realized something important: she didn't have to have everything figured out. She didn't have to know all the answers right now. It was okay to be uncertain, to be in the middle of the process without seeing the end just yet.

"Can I tell you something?" Raine asked after a long pause, her voice quieter than usual.

Lila nodded, turning to face her.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said the other day, about not being sure if you want that promotion," Raine began. "It made me think about my own life and how much time I've spent worrying about what other people think of me. Like, I've built this whole identity around being the carefree, adventurous one, you know? The girl who's always up for anything, who never lets anything get her down. And don't get me wrong, I love that part of me. But there's another part of me that's terrified—terrified of slowing down, of facing my own fears. It's easier to distract myself with fun and adventure than to really deal with what's going on inside."