Love worth fighting for

Chapter 2: 'The Silence'- (Mason's Perspective)

(925 words)

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I checked my phone again, the screen lighting up in the dim light of my room. Nothing. It had been days since I've heard from Angi. In trying to be patient, I'm trying to be understanding, but despite my best efforts to convince myself that she just needs some space and that everyone has their struggles, the silence is starting to feel personal. Deep down inside of me, a feeling of worry is starting to bubble up inside of me. It feels like she's slipping through my fingers no matter how hard I try to hold on. What if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore? Each day without a response adding more weight to my chest.

I remember when we first started dating. Everything felt so effortless. We could talk for hours and hours about everything and about nothing at the same time. Whenever we talked it was like the world around us faded away and all that mattered was us. I can still hear her laughter in the back of my mind. It reminds me of the time everything was all sunshine and rainbows.

But now, every conversation, every interaction has me walking on eggshells. Is she mad at me? Is she sad? Or is she just- gone? I keep replaying our last conversation over and over in my head trying to pick apart every detail to see if I did something wrong. If I somehow had pushed her away. The uncertainty of it all is clawing at me from the inside. Each second, each minute more painful than the last.

I've sent her a couple of messages since then. Each one more hesitant than the last.

With every unanswered text my resolve began to wither. How much longer can I keep reaching out asking her to let me in before I break?

The silence of my room was deafening. The only noise in the room being my thoughts that seem to echo off the walls. I replayed every moment we have been together in my head. Every smile, every touch, every moment. I remember the first time we met on that porch. How easy and natural it all felt. Like we were two old classmates discovering a connection that we didn't know was there. But now, I felt like I was talking to a ghost. And chasing the shell/shadow of the girl I had come to love so deeply.

I can only imagine what she's going through. I know she has her struggles. Her anxiety, and her battles with depression. I want to help, I want to be there for her, I so desperately want to fix her brain and make it all go away for her. But I feel so helpless in this silence. Its not only frustrating, but it feels like I'm failing her.

I took a deep breath and glanced at my phone again. Still nothing. I run my hands through my hair, trying to shake off all the worry I'm feeling. I need to find a way to reach her. To let her know that I'm here for her and that she's not alone. I desperately want her to feel safe enough to talk to me and share what she's feeling.

What if she feels like a burden? What if she thinks I won't understand? The thought feels like there's blades in my stomach. I would do anything to reassure her that she's not alone. But I can't force her to open up and that makes me feel powerless.

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As the days dragged on, I found myself drifting into a familiar pattern of self-doubt. What if I'm not good enough for her? What if she realized she was better off without me? The questions swirled around my mind like a whirlpool, threatening to drown me at any moment.

I remembered the way she smiled when we were together. The light in her eyes that had made me believe there was something more. I want to see that smile again. I want to hear her voice without the hesitance that now seemed to overshadow everything. I missed her, and the ache that I felt with her absence was a constant reminder of how much I cared for her.

After what felt like an eternity I decided to send one last message. One that would hopefully break through the silence.

I hit send, the words hanging in the air like a prayer. I didn't know if she would respond, but I needed her to know that I was here, and that I'm ready to support her in whatever way she needed.

As I set my phone down, I looked out the window, the evening sky painted in hues of orange and pink. The day passed so fast filled with doubt and worry.

"The sunset reminds me of you Angi. I hope you can feel the warmth of the sunset, and that wherever you are out there, you're doing ok."

As I waited, I clung to the hope that she would eventually let me back in, and that we could find our way through this silence together.

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