so, do we like each other or not? // JENLISA

Chapter 35

She went to Chaeyoung's. She had nowhere else to go. She showed up at the door and hammered her fist against it, and Chaeyoung took one look at her and let her straight in. She didn't even manage to ask what happened before Lisa told her anyway.

"She's an asshole," Lisa bit out between sips of bourbon straight from her gigantic bottle. She'd been repeating that mantra over and over for the past half hour, but it wasn't doing anything to lessen the curdling in her stomach.

"She is," Chaeyoung agreed, reaching out for the bottle and taking a swig for herself. "But she's also in denial."

"Is she?" Lisa asked, leaning her head back against the couch. "I thought so too, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she never liked me the way I thought she did, and now she really is just done with me."

Chaeyoung reached out and sharply slapped her arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Lisa demanded.

"Don't be so whiny. Your heart is breaking, but that doesn't mean you need to feel so sorry for yourself. She obviously loves you too."

Lisa scowled at her and snatched the Jack Daniels back. "She dumped me. By letter."

"Maybe she's ending the arrangement because she wants to be with you for real, without a contract."

Lisa had already thought of that. It was an idea that had settled in her brain like a bird landing, but it had taken flight again pretty soon afterwards. "She would have just said that. Jennie doesn't like playing games. Not with me, anyway."

"Huh," Chaeyoung sighed. "Then she really is an asshole."

"She is."

"What are you going to do?"

"Fucked if I know," Lisa groaned. There wasn't enough whisky in the world to make the ache in her chest go away. "I can't stay there for another two weeks, but… I also don't know if I can just leave and never see her again."

"Lisa," Chaeyoung said warningly. "What do you think you'll gain from going back there?"

"I'll get to spend time with her," Lisa said, all too aware of how pathetic that was. "And I'll get to say goodbye."

"She's not dying, and she doesn't deserve a goodbye. Just say the word and I'll go round there to get your stuff for you – you shouldn't have to see her again."

"But I want to," Lisa whined. She was a morose drunk on a good day, but right then she was spiralling into full-blown depression. "I know she's being a bitch and I should hate her and I do, but I also love her and I know she's only pushed me away because she's scared of letting me in for real. Maybe if I go back to her then I can convince her that— ow!"

Chaeyoung had slapped her again, and she didn't look remotely sorry about it. "You're staying here for a few days. You need to cool off."

Lisa sighed, relieved – she'd been about to ask that anyway, so it was nice not to have to go begging. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"No problem. If I see you lying on my white couch with those ugly-ass boots on, though, I will kick you right back out again."

Lisa stayed on the couch in question for the next 12 hours, only moving to go to the bathroom or get another drink. At first, Chaeyoung had tried gently coercing her into getting takeout with her or even just having a shower, but sadness had settled over Lisa like night time and she couldn't summon the energy to even consider moving.