Bakudeku (Deku just being in a toxic relationship and gaining trust issues)

Katsumi's side of the story

poor girl

---I've been waiting for Zuzu to come back. Daddy and Mommy don't love each other anymore. They fight a lot. I don't like it when they fight. I try to remember the times when Zuzu was here with me, but it's getting hard.

Flashback:

Zuzu was sitting right next to me, just being quiet like he always was. He had lots of boo-boos and ouchies on his arms and legs, and they looked really bad, like they hurt a lot. There were dark purple and blue spots and little red lines where he had been scratched. When I touched one of the ouchies, Zuzu flinched a little, like it hurt, but then he gave me a tiny smile. It wasn't a big, happy smile, but it was a soft one that made me feel a little bit better, like maybe things would be okay. Zuzu's voice was always so quiet, like a tiny mouse or a robot that had run out of power. Sometimes, when I forgot, I called him "Mama" by accident, and he did that small smile again. But then he shook his head and said, "No, no, don't say that in front of the big people." I didn't know why, but I tried hard to remember.

That day, when Mama and Dada were yelling a lot, I asked Zuzu why Dada got so, so angry all the time. I thought maybe Zuzu would know something that would make everything okay again, like magic. But Zuzu just looked at me with his sad eyes, the kind that made my chest feel heavy like a big rock was sitting on it. He didn't answer right away. He rubbed his arms where the new bruises were, the scary, dark ones, and then he said, "Sometimes people get angry when they're hurt, Katsumi. But it's not your fault, okay?" His voice was soft, like when you whisper in the dark, but his words didn't make me feel better. It was really hard not to think it was my fault when Dada was mad because when he was mad, everything felt wrong, like the whole world was upside down.---Now that I'm five, I think Zuzu was trying to protect me from Mommy and Daddy's anger. He didn't want me to worry. But I miss him so much. Zuzu, where are you? I want you to come back. I'm starting to forget what you look like... and I don't want to forget.---