random stuff den ich geschrieben hab 1

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I was at the cinema with my family today.
It was really nice and stuff.
Only thing that wasn't really nice today was that my mom yelled at me for not eating enough.
You know, sometimes I don't eat much.
I don't have a eating disorder it's just sometimes I am hungry but when i start eating suddenly i'm not hungry anymore. My mom is really annoyed from me because of that, but what did I do? I didn't want that. I wanted to eat but I wasn't hungry anymore.
I love my family but i don't know if they actually love me too. It kills myself inside. I know my sisters love me but if my mom and dad do too? I'm not really sure sometimes. I especially don't think that my mom loves me. She sometimes treats me like fucking shit. I hate that. Tomorrow is school.
I haven't done my homework yet.
I still need to do math and biology.
I also don't really think that my parents love eachother. Last year,  summer they seemed so in love but now.. my dad probably also cheats on my mom. I hate it here. I love my whole family but I think they also would  all hate me if i'd tell them that i'm lesbian and non-binary or genderfluid.
I'm not really sure if i'm non-binary or genderfluid.
They probably would kill me if they found out i have a girlfriend.
But they won't kill me because i might   kill me myself.

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