Lady Venom

The vulnerability

"Someone will ache for your soul wait for them"
- E.Russell

Raiden

I stare at the floor while sitting on my bed, still reeling from the fact that Vienna Leclair is in my house again.

I thought she'd written me off for good. She's spent months acting like I don't exist, going out of her way to avoid me like I'm a stranger.

And now, there she is, only a few feet away, laughing with my sister, posing in some dress while Roni takes photos like she's a model. If she was a model she would be the muse of every renaissance artist.

Get a grip. She's in your house; big deal. It's not like she's in my bed or anything.

I need to get a cat or something. This Vienna obsession is consuming me.

A familiar ache sits heavy in my chest, the same ache I used to feel every time we'd sit together and she'd open up.

Back then, I thought things between us might develop into something more.

Vienna gives me this glimpse of hope, just enough to pull me in, and then she shuts it all down.

Seeing her now, with Roni, she seems comfortable, even happy.

I'm sure she'd rather spend time with anyone else in the world than me. It stings.

A memory crashes over me. It was one of those rare nights when Vienna let her guard down with me.

She'd shown up late at my house, standing on the doorstep, looking smaller than usual, her face puffy. she had clearly been crying.

"Can I... stay here tonight?" she had asked, barely lifting her eyes. I'd never heard her voice sound so unsteady.

It was like each word cost her something to say. "I don't want to go home."

I nodded, pulling her inside before she could change her mind. We went to my bedroom, and at first, she just stood by the door, unsure of what to do.

"Come here," I motioned for her to sit next to me on my bed, and, surprisingly, she did.

I didn't press her to talk, but eventually, the silence got to her. She started opening up, "Benji and my dad have been yelling all night. I think Benji's going to leave soon- I don't know what I'll do without him: I'm no good alone Denny..and I... I just don't want to be there-I don't want to be here anymore."

"I know you think you're alone Baby," I said, moving closer to where she sat on the edge of my bed. "I'm here. And no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'm not going anywhere."

She looked up at me, her expression so vulnerable it felt like I was seeing a different person, one she hid away from everyone. "You always say that. Why do you stay with me, Denny? I'm not... worth it."

Without even thinking, I'd reached out, my hand brushing hers. "Because... you're worth it to me. I'm not leaving. Even if you make it difficult sometimes." I tried to lighten the moment with a quick smile.

She didn't say anything back, but she didn't pull her hand away either. And for a moment, we sat there in silence, her hand in mine, her breathing finally slowing.

It was such a simple thing, but it felt huge. Like, maybe, for once, she trusted me enough to let me stay.

But it's different now. Everything's different.

She acts like I don't mean anything to her.

Every time I see her, I wish she was still that vulnerable girl sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at me like I was the only solid thing in her world.

I'd take an emotional Vienna who opens up to me over a cold, distant one any day.

It pains me, knowing she'd rather act like we're strangers than admit we once meant something to each other.

Even if she never lets me back in, I'll always wait for her, just in case she needs me again.

Even if it feels like I'm waiting a lifetime.