𝒔𝒐 𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒏, 𝒉.𝒔.

a/n thank you

next update will be a new chapter, don't worry!

note for all directioners: i hope you guys are all holding up well! you're not alone during this time and the rest of us love you. sending you hugs. xx
(please read note at the end)

...

as some of you may know, Liam Payne passed away. a sentence that i thought i'd never hear or write.

unexpectedly, it hit me hard. when i found out, i was in complete denial and shock, that it was some kind of alternate universe or reality. that i was going to wake up and it ended up being a bad dream.

one direction was not a huge part of my childhood, i will admit. but a few of their songs, i associate with a few of my childhood memories. so i can only imagine the pain for others and how involved one direction was for others. even more so, if they went to their concerts or even lucky enough to meet any of the boys.

another thing i will admit, while i wasn't a huge fan, more of a casual listener. more like listen when the songs came on the radio, coincidentally Liam was my favorite.

i remember having a composition notebook that had a picture of 1D on it, from their "What Makes You Beautiful," music video. that was the only thing i had associated with them. i took a look at it, the picture, and that's when i knew Liam was my favorite. i thought he was adorable (which is weird for me to admit out loud).

as mentioned, i have other memories associated with some of their songs. i eventually forgot about them, until this past year. i started to listen to Harry's music. i even consider myself a Harrie now.

but for some reason, i decided to listen to one direction, for the first time in years. and i became obsessed.

the sense of nostalgia that i had, still do whenever i listen to their music is indescribable. i would like to think that i have been struggling with the thought of growing up too quickly, but when i started listening to one direction again, it made me realize that it helped me restore being a kid again.

with the tragic passing of Liam, i now feel fortunate enough to be able to listen to the music that was put out. that he had taken part in.

and lastly.

dear Liam,

i'm sorry.

i'm sorry we weren't able to help you. we never met, but can't help, but feel guilty that if we did i could've done something.

your music, your legacy lives with us. you won't be forgotten. how will you know? all the support you've been getting these past few days. i see it, the endless letters. the candles are lit. the bouquet of flowers. pictures of you. one direction memorabilia.

the fans, we're mourning. we're okay though, we will be! i hope you know we're not angry. wherever you are, i hope that you're okay.

i wish nothing, but the absolute best for all of your family, old and new. sending lots of love and strength to them.

and the boys. we got them.

please, don't be afraid to look after yourself as well. also, is it weird that hearing "Viva La Vida" on the radio frequently makes me think that it's a sign you're okay?

thank you, Liam.

until we finally meet,

a new directioner

______________________

if you've made it this far, thank you

i've also decided for this area to be a safe space for any fans of One Direction or of Liam.

if you have any words you want to say or share, you can. if you don't have any friends or someone to talk to about Liam's influence on your life, feel free to do it...

here —>

during this time, you shouldn't feel alone. no one should ever feel alone, and i hope i can make an impact in helping you :)

you can share stories, memories, or anything you want. but PLEASE remain respectful for others and their words.

feel free to share this chapter to your friends or anyone else if they also need a safe space during this time.

thank you,

kami x