Unspoken Currents

08

I woke up feeling disoriented. The morning sun was already streaming through the thin fabric of the tent, but all I could think about was the hike from yesterday. Pulling Colton back, his hand in mine, the rush of panic... and something else I couldn’t name. It had been nothing, right? Just a moment. But I couldn’t shake it.

Dragging myself out of the sleeping bag, I rubbed my face and stepped into the cold morning air. The campsite was already buzzing. Layla was chatting with our parents while Colton worked on making breakfast over the campfire, flipping pancakes like he’d been doing it his whole life. He looked so... normal. Relaxed. Like yesterday hadn’t shifted anything between us. Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe I was the only one stuck in my head.

“Morning,” Layla chirped, catching my eye as I walked over. “You sleep okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” I mumbled, keeping my gaze fixed on the ground. I could feel Colton’s presence nearby, and it made my skin crawl—not in a bad way, but in a way I couldn’t explain. It was like I didn’t know how to act around him anymore. Every little move felt amplified, like I was hyper-aware of him standing just a few feet away.

I took a seat at the fire, trying to focus on the crackling wood instead of Colton’s voice as he talked to Layla and my parents. I didn’t want to make eye contact with him, didn’t want him to notice that something was off. But I couldn’t help it. Every time he spoke, I felt my shoulders tense up, like I was waiting for something to happen.

“William, you alright?” Colton’s voice broke through my thoughts, casual but curious.

I looked up quickly, my heart skipping a beat. He was staring at me, his brow furrowed slightly, like he was trying to figure out what was going on. “You seem... off today.”

“I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile that felt too stiff. “Just tired.”

He nodded but didn’t look entirely convinced. “Alright, just checking.” Then he turned back to Layla, picking up the conversation like nothing had happened.

I exhaled, trying to ease the tension in my chest. It was nothing. He didn’t know. How could he? I was just overthinking everything. I had to be. But the rest of breakfast felt strained, at least for me. I kept my head down, focusing on my food, avoiding Colton’s gaze as much as possible. The more I tried to act normal, the more obvious it felt.

The day went on like that—my family in their usual high spirits, planning the day’s activities. Layla was full of energy, excited to go hiking again, and my parents were having the time of their lives, like they were on some second honeymoon. I should’ve felt relaxed, should’ve been enjoying the trip, but all I could think about was Colton.

We’d been getting closer these past few months, ever since the school year started. At first, it had been great, like I’d finally found someone who got me. Colton wasn’t just Layla’s boyfriend anymore; he was a friend, someone I looked up to. But now? Now it felt like everything was getting twisted inside me, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

I kept catching myself watching him—how he moved, how he laughed with my sister, how easy everything seemed for him. He wasn’t worried about anything. He was just... Colton. And the more I watched, the more I felt like I was falling into something I couldn’t control.

We spent the day hiking again, this time with the whole family. I stayed close to Layla, trying to distract myself from the knot tightening in my stomach. I barely spoke to Colton, but every time he came near me, I could feel the tension prickling beneath my skin. It was suffocating.

By the time we gathered around the campfire for dinner, I was exhausted—not from the hike, but from keeping up this façade of normalcy. Colton sat across from me, his face lit by the warm glow of the fire. He was talking about some camping trip he’d taken as a kid, his voice full of nostalgia. I tried to focus on something else, anything else, but my eyes kept drifting back to him. I couldn’t help it.

And then it happened.

For a split second, Colton glanced at me. It was so brief, just a flicker, but our eyes met. And something about that look—it wasn’t like the others. It felt... different. Colton looked away almost instantly, like it hadn’t meant anything. Like it was just a casual glance.

But my heart was racing.

I quickly turned my attention to the fire, trying to steady my breathing. It was nothing. I had to be imagining things. There was no way that look meant anything. I was probably just overanalyzing it, reading too much into a moment that wasn’t there. But deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted.

Lying in my tent that night, I stared up at the ceiling, my thoughts a tangled mess. What if I hadn’t imagined it? What if that look had meant something? My mind kept spiraling, replaying every interaction we’d had that day, trying to find clues in the smallest details. Maybe I was just confused. Maybe I didn’t know what I wanted. Or maybe...

I didn’t want to finish that thought.

I tossed and turned, trying to push it all away, but Colton’s face lingered in my mind. That look. What if he knew? What if he was feeling the same thing I was?

The uncertainty gnawed at me and sleep felt impossible. The more I tried to convince myself it was nothing, the more I feared it was something.

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