Unspoken Currents

011

I closed William’s door softly, but the quiet click of the latch felt heavier than it should have. As I walked down the hallway and out of the house, my mind replayed our conversation. The look in his eyes, the way his voice had caught when he answered me, and the hesitation in his expression—all of it kept running through my head on a loop. I’d meant to just check on him, see how he was handling everything after the trip, but somewhere along the way, I’d found myself saying things I hadn’t fully thought through.

I got into my car and sat there, staring out the windshield, not quite ready to drive. Talking to William like that had felt... different. The words had slipped out so naturally, yet there was a weight behind them that even I hadn’t been ready for. I’d meant it when I told him he could talk to me about anything, but there was more to that offer than just being a supportive friend. A part of me had been hoping he’d take me up on it—that he’d open up and tell me what he was feeling, whatever that might be.

Taking a deep breath, I finally started the car and headed back to campus. The familiar roads, the city lights starting to glow against the darkening sky, and the hum of the engine should have calmed me. But my mind kept drifting back to William. The last few days had felt surreal, like something between us was shifting, and I couldn’t tell if it was just in my head or if he was feeling it too.

Back at the dorms, I parked and grabbed my bag, heading up to my room. My roommate, Ryan, was sprawled out on his bed, earbuds in, watching something on his laptop. He barely looked up when I walked in, which was fine by me. I needed space to think.

I threw my bag on my bed and leaned against the wall, staring out the window at the campus courtyard below. The weekend had gone by so quickly, and now it felt like I was a world away from the campsite and the quiet moments around the fire. I missed the simplicity of it—the calm, the open sky, the time with William and Layla. Back here, surrounded by textbooks and assignments and my job at the campus café, everything felt more complicated.

The conversation with William kept playing in my head, but every time I tried to focus on what I’d actually meant, my thoughts tangled. Why had I been so insistent on telling him he could talk to me? Why did I feel like there was more to say that I couldn’t quite put into words? Part of me knew the answer, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. Not even to myself.

I’d always thought of William as Layla’s younger brother, the kid I’d gotten to know through her. But over the past few months, that perspective had started to shift. He wasn’t just Layla’s brother anymore. Somewhere along the way, he’d become someone I actually cared about—a friend, yes, but more than that, too. I respected him, admired his quiet strength, his loyalty, his honesty. And that realization left me feeling… unsteady. Uncertain.

It wasn’t a feeling I was used to. With Layla, things had always been straightforward. She was my girlfriend; we got along well, had fun together, and supported each other. Our relationship was easy, familiar. But William made me question things, made me think twice about what I really wanted and who I really was. And that kind of introspection was… unsettling.

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up to see Adrian poking his head in. “Hey, man, you’re back!” he said with his usual grin. “You ready to hit the café later?”

“Yeah,” I replied, forcing a smile. “Just got back a little while ago. Give me a few minutes to get my stuff together?”

“Sure thing,” he said, already heading back down the hall. Adrian and I had been friends since my first year at college, and he was one of the few people who seemed to get me. But even with him, I wasn’t sure how to bring up everything that had been running through my mind.

***

Later that evening, while we were cleaning up at the café, Adrian started talking about his weekend. I listened half-heartedly, nodding along, but my mind was still back in William’s room, back in that conversation and everything unsaid.

“Dude, you seem out of it,” Adrian said, breaking through my thoughts. “You good?”

“Yeah, sorry,” I mumbled, rubbing the back of my neck. “Just tired from the trip. Camping was great, but it kind of took it out of me.”

He smirked. “Bet you missed hot showers and real beds, huh?”

“Something like that,” I replied, trying to laugh it off. But my smile faded as I thought about how much I’d actually enjoyed the trip. Being out there, away from everything, had been refreshing. And spending time with William… that had been eye-opening.

“So, how’s Layla?” Adrian asked, steering the conversation to safer ground. “You guys still going strong?”

“Yeah, things are good,” I said, nodding. “She’s been great, honestly.”

But even as I said the words, they felt hollow. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about Layla—I did. But the past few days had made me realize that maybe I wasn’t as invested as I thought. And that realization brought up even more questions, questions I wasn’t ready to face.

Adrian gave me a knowing look. “You sure? Because you don’t seem so sure.”

I hesitated, not quite ready to spill everything. “It’s complicated,” I admitted finally. “I don’t know… I just feel like I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about what I really want and where I’m heading.”

He nodded, giving me a thoughtful look. “That’s normal, man. College does that to everyone. Just take your time. Figure it out as you go.”

I appreciated his words, even if he didn’t know the full extent of what I was struggling with. Because it wasn’t just college or my future. It was something deeper, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on but felt every time I thought about William.

***

By the time I got back to my room, the campus was quiet, most people settling in for the night. I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, my mind still racing. The look in William’s eyes when I’d told him he could talk to me about anything—that look hadn’t been nothing. And I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the same confusion I was.

But what did that mean for us? For me and Layla? For everything I thought I knew about myself?

I didn’t have the answers, and part of me was terrified of what those answers might be. But as I drifted off to sleep, one thought kept circling back, refusing to be ignored: whatever was happening between me and William, it was only just beginning. And I wasn’t sure I was ready for where it might lead.

-----------------------------------------