+ + Something Sweeter ++ - Chanlix

++ 6 ++

[TW: mentions of suicide, homophobia and trauma]

The fresh smell of the heavy rain, oh how it was missed. The sweet feeling and familiar warmth in the air, that was missed too. And Chris, the man himself, was missed the most.

But Felix wasn't satisfied. He was scared.

He sat there, swivelling softly back and forth on Chris' armchair, in his partner's office. Chris had taken him into work with him, knowing he needed to be there and knowing Felix had nowhere else to go. Nor did Chris necessarily want to leave Felix again, well of course he didn't.

The sunlight drifted gently through the large panes of glass, illuminating the room and everything in it. A beautiful rainbow had formed in the sky, due to the rain that was continuously falling roughly from the clouds up above. And the colours reflected over Felix's face, shimmering against his freckles. Seemed as though they were telling him something he already knew.

His eyes gazed out the large windows, watching as the rain he loved so much pattered repeatedly against them. He was shrouded in thought, begging for his brain that seemed to be running with negative thoughts faster than Usain Bolt and a fucking cheetah combined to stop for more than a moment. Well, at least he had his rainy days.

"I'm back." Chris' voice snapped Felix from his stresses and he was calmed drastically by just the simple words coming from Chris' mouth. That warm voice and familiar accent did wonders. "With two lattes, although I doubt they are as good as yours." He spoke, shutting the door he had opened behind him with his foot and walking over with two takeaway coffee cups in each of his hands.

Felix gave a small smile, taking the cup he was handed gently into his grasp and smoothly standing up so Chris could sit in his own chair. "Thanks, baby."

Chris then softly pulled the man into his open lap and made him yelp lightly in surprise, he then wrapped his left arm around his waist and tried to take a sip from his scolding hot drink which was held by the other. They sat there in eachother's embrace as Felix leaned slowly back against Chris, watching the rain fall once again after so long without a rainy day.

It was peaceful for a while, but Chris could feel something was taking up space in his lover's mind. Something was wrong. Chris wouldn't have imagined it was as wrong as it was, however.

"Are you okay?" Chris asked, shattering the silence although the glass cleared itself away and left all the space for words.

"Huh?" Felix was pulled from his daydreams and thoughts yet again by Chris' sweet voice, although part of him wasn't happy with the question. He had just reunited with Chris, he wasn't gonna stress him out so soon. He didn't even want to talk about it anyway, so he found himself lying. "Yeah, darling, I'm fine."

Although his tone did all the speaking for him, it translated the words he said into the words he meant and much to Felix's agitation, Chris seemed to be fluent in that language.

"Are you sure? Did something happen in Korea?"

Felix gave no reply, Chris quickly placing his - now empty - coffee cup down on the table before them and adjusting his position so he could make eye-contact with the man. "Lix. Tell me the truth, is everything okay?"

Those damn eyes, and that damn voice. Both so full of love, kindness and care (although Chris' voice was firm with his words). Something Felix wasn't used to, something sweeter than he had ever known before they met. He couldn't hide, he knew he couldn't. He was also deep down, very well aware that it was most likely for the better.

"No." Felix mumbled, allowing the truth to slip out and off his lips. He could feel Chris sit up even further, wrapping himself slightly more around him as comfort. He felt so loved by Chris, that's one thing he'll always be able to say no matter what gets in their way.

"What happened? Tell me everything, love."

"It's actual a big part of the reason I came here anyway, I would've been less likely to have come if this hadn't happened. I was adament to not to get in the way of your dreams. But, I felt being without you was a risk." Felix began, those last words being all Chris needed to become ever so slightly terrified. What had happened to his Felix. He had to know. "My mother is in Korea. She showed up without any possible warning a month ago, she barged in to the shop and started screaming at me. What I didn't know was that photos from the New Years Party, of everyone, had been leaked. She saw us together, and knew we were a couple immediately. I don't know how she figured that out. She didn't know I was queer before but she does now."

Felix paused for a second, sniffling away the stray tears that seemingly had started to drip down the stars that painted his cheeks. Before he continued on.

"She's not only a disgusting human in general, but she's also a massive homophobe. She spat these painfully harsh words at me that I hoped she didn't mean but I know her well enough to know that's just a stupid wish I made every year on my birthday growing up. She then started saying these things about you, I tried so hard to convince her we weren't together to protect you but she doesn't believe shit I say. She made me angry, she made me hurt, she made me feel like a bad person when I knew I wasn't and that it was her but-"

"But what?" Chris asked, failing to notice his own tears that fell from his eyes that despite all, still held that forever endearing gaze for Felix.

"But I believed her at the time. I had nobody to tell me I was wrong. So in the space of a week of her being there, I missed you more and lost touch with joy entirely. At least that's how it felt. I tried to kill myself. And not long after ran off to find you, as I was scared I'd do it again and succeed."

Chris' heart dropped, so far you could hear it hit the ground and shatter into a million tiny and broken pieces. He could feel anger rising in his throat and his veins as his blood boiled slowly. He didn't care, he didn't care at all, who it was. Nobody hurts his Lix. Nobody puts him into a state that makes Chris nearly lose him for good.

"What." It wasn't even a question. His voice was high pitched and pained. He didn't know which of the hundreds of emotions rushing through his body to feel. He didn't know what to do. Knowing Felix felt that way. Did Felix still feel that way? How could he protect him? How could he let him know that there's something sweeter hidden in the stars drawn around the scars left by those who hurt you.

SO