I guess it's the Bay of Biscay. I'm almost sure. I think I am facing North West, maybe Greenland is over there. Looking over it from here, an endless grey navy blue carpet beneath a cloud cluttered sky. They seem to meet each other. You could believe we were closed in by them at the edges, where the sea meets the sky and everything ends.
You wouldn't know what to believe or you might believe anything.
How they kept on justifying those trips, I am not really sure. Another crying woman and child, in the name of something respectable perhaps. Try to create an abstract comparison to quantify it in some way. To make it more justifiable. The pursuit of something more, this feeling of progression towards something greater. It wouldn't have been me, I'm pretty sure, although you never know how things would have been different with the lack of understanding at the time. Hearing a story about this place beyond the horizon. It almost doesn't make sense really, to say that humans all came from the same place and then got to the point of rediscovering each other.
You will only ever know what is presented to you, I mean outside of the things you actually encounter for yourself, and you could never be sure what is presented to you is true or accurate or it might be presented badly and you get the wrong idea of it.
To be alive now is living with information and technology you probably don't have some full grasp of and if you do you start to understand their problems too much.
That was it, a lot of trial and error, long periods, almost unfathomable amounts of time, a lot is possible.
There is probably some angle I could get to be pointed directly back towards England. This sea looked completely motionless when I was flying over it. Some perspective gained from the journey. A moment where it all comes together and everything seems possible. This had been everything I hoped for so far, memories, people, places, things. Now, across to the Americas.
Someone said something to me about that. I think it was Thomas. To have the knowledge of our own limitations but still pursue an understanding beyond that. To recognise that the lens is broken and decide to stop looking through it. He didn't say it like that at all but. Man, the news that he had died was just strange. Some kind of confirmation that I had made the right decisions. Too much distance to really feel a negative way about it. He looked OK the last time I saw him, he was like: 'Luke man I heard you got signed for Wimbledon, you or Russell are going to make it happen.'
