A lot has changed in a year, and to be real I have no reason why I haven't written. I just didn't feel inspired to write for a long, long time. I feel like when that happens I'm inwardly wrestling with something and everything else has to take a backseat.
My year of unemployment quickly went from fun to desperate, and I could never make peace with finding a new career. I decided quitting teaching was not the answer. I LOVE teaching. I just don't love the bullshit. And I spent most of the last 6 months trying to figure out a way to still do it without going back into the same situation. I started solely applying to tutoring, private, charter or homeschool co-ops, and I got a job at an amazing charter school.
The catch is I teach 4th grade, but I'm actually loving it. The kids are so sweet, innocent and eager to please. It's a real breath of fresh air. I'm sorry but it gets to you to work with nothing but troubled teenagers year after year, to be bombarded with obscene language literally every minute of the day, the sheer constant negativity, to be treated like you're the problem when all you're trying to do is help. I just needed a break. And I got it. And it's good. And I won't feel guilty for taking the peace and sanity I needed.
I'm down to two Suboxone a day and more determined than ever to be off them by spring. I have a lot of guilt with my kids about all those years, but I love being a mom more than anything in the world and never thought it could be possible to love another being the way I love those two.
So this weekend I just felt it: I had to write. I updated both Cricket and Reaper's Touch and then this and it's safe to say I'm back for good. That feels really awesome. :)
YOU ARE READING
Maybe We Should Go Back
Non-FictionI decided to make a space to rant, discuss, review and just get things off my chest. Please note that mental illness and addiction are things I live with, so this might be triggering to some. I'm holding nothing back.
