Home Hunting

Chapter 6: Our Secret

Evelyn's POV:

"Evelyn?"

My head snapped to the doorway to find Dr. Montgomery standing in the incoming light. My stomach plummeted down as I immediately swallowed my feelings. I'm just on call, I could tell her. She can't know. But before I could gather my thoughts to respond, she continued.

"Evelyn, what are you doing in here?" She asked, continuing into the room. Despite the dim lighting of the room, I could tell that she had seen my tears from the look on her face.

"Just taking a rest while I'm on call," I attempted to cover. "Sorry, I had a long day," I added in, hoping that it would account for the tears.

She said nothing in response, but rather walked back over to the door to gently close it. She then turned the lock and walked back over to the base of the bunk, leaving the lights off.

"I don't want you to view me as your superior right now," she gently continued. "Right now, you're not my student and I'm not your teacher. Whatever this is won't be talked about with the other attendings."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm on call," I replied, desperately trying to shut out the conversation that I knew was inevitably coming.

"Evelyn, the door is locked. No one is coming in here. Tell me what's going on. You're not on call and you weren't on call when you walked in on Amelia either. And it doesn't matter how I know about that night. Talk to me, Evelyn. Why are you here?"

I stared at her green eyes as they pleaded up at me for answers. I felt my heart beat faster, desperate to be heard, while my mind screamed at me the opposite.

"Because I don't have anywhere else," I whispered, my tears beading up once more as I looked down at my lap. I couldn't bear to look up at her face. I knew that she would never be able to look at me the same way after tonight.

I felt the weight of the bed shift as she climbed up next to me. And suddenly I had never felt the need to be so close to a person, and yet so far away all at the same time.

"Evelyn," she said softly. "Evelyn, look at me," she added, placing my chin between her thumb and index finger and lifting it up so that I was now eye level with her. "What do you mean you have nowhere else? Tell me everything. Tell me so I can help you."

I couldn't deny her while looking into her eyes. It's like she could break right through me.

"I'm homeless. I live at the shelter on fifth street. I have ever since I graduated med-school. But lately I haven't been able to bring myself to go back. And some nights when I'm alone, I feel like a failure," I dictated in a quiet, raspy voice. It's like I was telling her, but didn't really want her to hear.
I couldn't look into her eyes for a second longer. I hastily broke eye contact, as the tears that had been bubbling up over my eyes finally broke the well. I felt her hand gently rest on the base of my neck before she began to stroke slow circles across my back.

"It's going to be okay," she assured. "I promise, Evelyn, we'll work this out. You don't have to hold this in anymore. I'm here."

My head turned to the side as I glanced up at her eyes once again. "I'm here," she repeated. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," I whispered, intertwining her hand with mine. "The others can't know," I urged. "Especially not the interns."

"I won't tell them. I promise," she replied. "But why, love? They can help you."

"I can't have them look at me like I'm broken. And I can't have you thinking I'm broken. I need to get myself out of this on my own. I owe it to myself," I insisted.