Here I am, A loser, Hoping To Make some Money by writing a fake future about me succeeding because I Doubt I can Do it in real life .
sitting on the couch after spending my whole day either studying or jerking off, the only thing i can do other than reminiscing about my sad life is try to avoid being depressed by downing two Ashwagandha pills, which are supposed to be natural antidepressants, and then i sit sinking in my minds as i can neither jerk off nor study anymore I was born on February 19, 2005, naturally with a weaker body than my peers.
I started realizing How weak I am when I started karate at 4 The other kids were better than me in strength and size The only thing i excelled at were speed and flexibility, as i could make a full split and kick faster and higher than my peers, but while that benefited me in competition as i connected weak hits that didn't affect my opponents but got me points, it did me no benefit in elementary school as here i was the only kid that wore glasses and also the skrawniest one all the kids thought i was weird as all i cared about where my favourite animes like HunterXHunter , Detective Conan And Finding Nemo and studying at that age you would think all kids would be like me except the studying part wich i too wasn't intersted in but excelled in because my mom forced me to do my homework and study but apparently in our class since most kids had older siblings and were of socially lower classes wich interracted with the streets more apparently i wasn't supposed to like animes as they were childish and apparently other kids don't watch them wich is a lie as the kids watched them secretly to not be childish but since i didn't have an older brother, went to a private preschool before wich had kids of a higher social class who were like me and my mom sheltered me from the streets i wasn't able to fit in as the kids always tried to act more mature but i was just a child who enjoyed childish things if it were for only those factor i think i would've eventually fit in but in reality i was always an outcast .
I had one friend named Doha and he was the one who destroyed my childhood. i met doha in my first day of elementary school one of our parents were supposed to bring us to the class so as soon as we entered with our moms they sat us on the first desk in class and introduced us to each other .doha was the son of an Egyptian diplomat to France, but he had an older brother and sister so he was able to interact with both me and the rest of the kids and because i had him a a friend i just didn't fit in as i had someone like me throughout our years throughout school he kept on excluding me in school and getting closer to me outside of school so through his push and pull tactics i couldn't fit in not only that later i learned that he secretly instigated the other children to bully me as my parents came to school almost daily because of the bullying i became more and more seperated from the other children to the degree that the whole class could support any one of the who bullied me when my parents complained and the teacher asked my classmates about what happened they always lied as a result i gave up on my classmates in my 4th year i stopped interacting with everyone and i tried to only meet my classmates in class during the morning assembly i skipped by mixing with the school police guarding the stairs bribing other kids with some rubber braclets that were popular to buy and make at school these days were my best days as i could buy some rubbers make a braclet with them then sell them for a profit but i usually lost money from my allowance because of bribing the school police to chill with them on the stairs during the morning assembely and the afternoon break during this time my main bully the most popular kid in class hamy got sick of my parents complaining to the principal and being summoned to the princepels office so he made his older brother deal with me during the break so i took refuge in my neighbour ahmed who was a six year like hamy's brother so they made peace and since then i got hamy and his group to get off my back but i was almost kidnapped twice when i was going home from school at 4rth grade then an older kid always tried to extort money from me when i was going home from school but i always spent it at lunch break to get some snacks and juice so he kept beating me violently after school for 3 months with me giving him my money halfway but him still beating me till i broke down and told my father who went and threatened him to get off my back and he did since i have never seen him again after that while running in the play ground to the canteen during lunch break i slammed into nour the popular girl in class and accidently kissed her since then the bullying of my class returned with vegnance as after that hamy almost choked me to death the next day the principle dragged him from his hair all the way down 3 floors to her office where my parents where waiting he then told them that i pulled his neck skin from the back and he didn't like that move some bullshit any way at that time the whole class was leaving for the break the last 3 in the hallway where me ,doha and hamy so as i was looking down at the playground from our class on the 3rd floor i was pulled from the back of my shirt slammed into the wall and choked powerless to resist till i almost fainted i complained to my neighbour ahmed who confronted hamy,s brother again but they couldn't make peace so since hamy said someone pulled him from his nape and i didn't do it could only be doha who i thought was my best friend at the time so i let the matter down because i didn't want my only friend to get hurt as usual our classmates went to bleed with the principale to save hamy lying that they were there and that i pulled hamy's nape and thus hamy was just fighting back but i already gave up on punishing hamy because i didn't want my only friend doha to get hurt .
Aside from school, I was always bullied by the neighbours kids when I went to my grandma's house. i was also bullied by one kid during karate practice who was just beating me up violently without technique .But I wasn't all that pitiful as i also bullied the only kid who was lower than me in the chain of contempt in school, Dahab, a kid who had a heart proplem and barely went to school but when he came i always beat him up till i felt he was about to have a heart attack or something this period of my life ended in the betryal when i realized all this time my best friend doha is the one behind all my bullying and loneliness in school because he wanted me to be only his friend to mobilize me and the discovery of this betryal broke me mentally i already had depression since 3rd grade but i just broke down .
