Whoa, Baby!

5.

Chapter Five
The Idiots

I could feel the tension rising in the room as I sat there, surrounded by my family, as they unleashed a torrent of foul-mouthed fury upon me, Joshua, Jonathan, and our cousins.

The reason for their outrage? A stupid drunk bet we made during my bachelor party back in 2014 - a bet that led us to donate sperm at a place called Xytex. At the time, it had seemed like a harmless, even amusing, prank. Little did we know the consequences that would reverberate through our lives years later.

As Lisa, my mother, screamed at us, her face flushed with anger, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of shame wash over me. "Now how many grandkids we got running around because you idiots decided to donate sperm!" she yelled, her voice dripping with disgust.

Beside her, my sister Summer shook her head in dismay, her expression one of pure disappointment.

"I can't believe y'all got drunk and decided to be the sperm fairy," Kayla added, her words laced with a mixture of disbelief and exasperation.

The rest of the family was no less forgiving. Reeva pinched Kayla's arm, while Tanya chuckled and remarked, "That was clever."

Solofa stepped forward and declared, "Now, we gotta hire a private investigator to find whoever used the donated sperms."

At this, Jonathan, ever the pragmatic one, spoke up, "Do we really need to go looking for the kids?" His question was met with a resounding chorus of "Yes!" from the entire family, each voice dripping with a mix of outrage, concern, and a strange sense of curiosity.

As I sat there, listening to the heated debate unfolding around me, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of unease. The ramifications of our foolish actions were becoming increasingly clear, and I knew that the fallout would be far-reaching. We had unwittingly set in motion a chain of events that would forever alter the lives of not just ourselves, but potentially countless others as well.

Lisa crossed her arms tighter, frustration etched on her face. "These are real lives we're talking about." Her tone shifted from disbelief to something more serious, and I could see the concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, but we don't even know if anyone actually used it!" I protested, though even I wasn't convinced by my own argument.

"Doesn't matter," Trinity chimed in. "You made the donation. It could've happened." She glanced at Jonathan, who looked just as lost as I felt. "We need to figure this out. Like, now."

Solofa leaned forward, his expression serious. "So what's the plan? Do we just sit here and wait for the inevitable knock on the door? We need to take action."

The thought of a private investigator made my stomach churn. It sounded like something out of a movie—an over-the-top drama. "Come on, do we really need to go that far?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"YES!" the family shouted again, the determination in their voices sending my anxiety levels soaring.

"This is ridiculous," I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "We're talking about hiring someone to track down children that may or may not even exist."

"It's not ridiculous, Joe!" Lisa snapped. "This is serious. You could have kids who are living with some other family, completely unaware of who you are!"

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. The thought of children—my children—growing up without knowing anything about their biological father sent my mind spiraling. "What if they don't even want to know me?" I whispered, more to myself than anyone else.

"Doesn't matter," Joshua said firmly. "You have a responsibility. We all do." His words hung in the air, heavy with meaning.

Tatiana stepped closer, her expression softening slightly. "Look, Joe, whatever happens, we'll handle it together. You won't be alone in this." Her reassurance was comforting, but it did little to ease the dread pooling in my stomach.