Why I stopped with Miraculous Junk

Once Upon a Sabbath (b)

...The background music was nice. I had to know who was playing, but I didn't go see for myself. When Naterly told me that it was the brilliant piano player from earlier this morning, I was a little surprised.

...

The brilliant piano player stepped out into the hall, clearly headed for the church with the sweetest bunch of sheet music under his arm, and only stopped to receive a complement just as he stepped out.

"I thought you said it was a girl," I sorta hissed– softly -, if you can imagine that,- to Naterly, my friend, demanding an explanation as for why she even got that messed up... (There was a young woman on the piano earlier that morning. Maybe she had something to do with it.)

I think, "I thought it was!" was her reply.

The door to the church was wide open and though I could hear the brilliant player's excellency as loud and clear as I could before, now that he had moved on to the piano, in the sanctuary, where anybody could pass by without looking strange. Even me.

*See If I went into the chapel the pianist had just come out of, started walking towards the piano to just see them, talk to them even, and then changed my mind, even with the other door out the room, located to the side behind the piano, it'd've been so painfully awkward walking past the person on the piano to exit through, and obvious I'd just backed out of talking to them. There were two other entrances I could've taken that would very well have landed me in a potentially bad social position.

**If I had chosen to walk through the door, it would've led to a small closet with nothing much in it, and another door a little diagonal to it. If I'd taken entrance A, then in the amount of time it would've taken me to walk all the way down that way, they would've already looked up at me. To walk up to someone, and then change my mind, the least awkward option available would be to walk the small distance between their backside and the wall and go into a random closet is...Not worth it.

If I took entrance B, which the piano faces from about twenty feet away, and gotten past the potential fear of walking up to them, after there'd still be that fear of actually talking to them, and if I couldn't get over it, I would have to stand still awkwardly, walk around them, or literally turn around.

If I stood there awkwardly I might pass out from embarrassment. If I'd turn around...Same outcome. If I had gone into the closet, they'd probably wonder: 'why are they in there listening to me?' And if they'd checked to see if I was okay or still there and saw the door at the end, they'd see that the that there was no point in me walking in other than to talk to them._

(I have a really considerate thought process.)

Now that he was playing in the church, where I was, I could enter in without him seeing me, and turn around unnoticed if I had changed my mind, and If I'd changed my mind after passing him, from the sanctuary there are many other entrances and exits from there so if I changed my mind, to keep walking would be like nothing. Maybe I did have other things to do than ask them questions about their brilliant piano playing. They wouldn't know.

Still I stressed over the whole thing anyway on my way over to the sanctuary and up from the table I was eating at in the middle of the hallway.

I was ready to turn around and walk away on my way over, and in the least awkward way, that's what I did -from behind his line of sight. His piano playing I realized as I got closer was more than brilliant! So he just had to be...

I was so close to just going up and talking to him. I don't know if I clutched the door or the wall in hesitation to enter his peripheral view, or my inner hand as I made frustrated fists, both annoyed and shocked at my irrationality. If he were as brilliant as his piano playing, I was not about to face him alone...Who would go with me?

No one in my mind.

I was retreating to the table I came from to sit and chew a while, pondering upon all that I potentially missed, but Naterly was right behind me, wanting me to come with as much as I was wanting to join her.

I practically stumbled in there, and stopped at the piano. We both stopped. Naterly seemed insistent on me going to do the dirty job interrupting the master at work...And so, after uhh...some effective 'coaxing', I did.