A Chance to Breathe

Chapter XXVIII

It was my last week in high school. The countdown had begun, and as much as I'd been looking forward to it, there was a part of me that felt unsettled. Maybe it was the exhaustion from studying for finals, or maybe it was the looming uncertainty of what came after. Either way, I felt like I was barely holding myself together as the days blurred into a mess of study sessions and constant self-doubt.

I'd spent the last few weeks in a constant whirlwind of exams, trying to wrap my mind around endless pages of textbooks. There was only one more final to go, but my brain felt like it had turned into mush. And yet, despite all of that, I trusted that I'd done my best.

What weighed on me more than the exams, though, was the upcoming competition. It wasn't just any race. This was the one—the big one.  And I didn't even know if I wanted to be in it.

For weeks, I had been torn about whether or not to withdraw from the race. I knew what it meant for Elsa. She had been training relentlessly, her eyes set on that scholarship. And I... well, I had already decided that the police academy in Boston was my path. I didn't need the scholarship, not right away. Not like Elsa did. She deserved it. 

But walking away from the race wasn't that simple.

Every time I thought about backing out, something in me hesitated. Maybe it was my competitive nature, the part of me that never liked to quit. Maybe it was the work I'd put into training, the hours of pushing myself, telling myself I could win this if I tried hard enough. Or maybe it was just the fact that I didn't want to feel like I was giving up.

And then there was Regina.

She hadn't pushed me to stay in the race, but I had a gut feeling she wanted to see me there. I could see it in her eyes, the way she watched me when I talked about it. She knew how much this competition meant to me, even if I pretended it didn't. She knew I was struggling with the decision, and that no matter what I chose, it wasn't going to be easy.

The night before the competition, I sat in my room, textbooks scattered around me, but my mind was far from studying. I stared at the open book in front of me, the words blurring together. My phone buzzed beside me, and I picked it up, seeing a message from Regina.

Regina: How are you holding up?

I smiled a little, my heart lifting at the sight of her name on my screen.

Me: Barely hanging on, but I'm still here. What about you?

Her response came almost immediately.

Regina: I'm well. Just wanted to check in. Are you still deep in your textbooks? 

Me: Yeah, I'm heavily distracted by tomorrow's competition though. I still don't know if I want to race or not. 

I waited for a reply but it didn't come. 

I hesitated before typing again.

Me: I want Elsa to win. She deserves it more than I do.

There was a pause before her next message.

Regina: You deserve it too, Emma. You've worked just as hard as anyone else.

I stared at the message, my heart twisting. I knew she meant it. But that didn't make the decision any easier.

I sighed and tossed my phone onto the bed, leaning back against the pillows. I knew I had to make a choice, and soon. The competition was in less than 24 hours, and I couldn't keep going back and forth like this.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. It's been an hour or so laying in bed trying to get my thoughts untangled.  A soft knock at my door pulled me from my thoughts. I sat up, expecting to see Mary or David, but instead, Regina stepped into the room, her expression soft and understanding. She held a tray with juice and warm dinner.