Fidelity [A Andley AU Oneshot]

Fidelity

Ashley was a nobody. Anything and everything was nothing to him. The mirror that hung in his room was his worst enemy and food was another. Bullies that tormented him gave him no remorse to his skin.
If somebody had stripped him down they would have seen things that a lot of people wouldn't dare give in to. His parents could see he was hurting, but he was the boy full of lies and scar tissue. He did not once scream or plead for help. He simply kept to himself. Away from the world. There was a word that he hated more then anything else, Fidelity. He was never faithful. Ashley was a lair and a cheat.

He skipped school until he had the police searching for him and asking as to why he would not attend. He would not eat in fear of another thing to be hated upon.
Yes just another thing to lie about.

Ashley Purdy was an actor and damn well good at it.

Even at night he didn't look okay as blood rushed down his scared wrists. But the pain made him feel alive and in control. The razors were nothing to him but the scissors were his favorite.

He likes to play with ones mind. He would say he's with friends when he's actually in a tree pondering with his thoughts. He's convinced himself it's better to be alone. He doesn't need friends nor does anyone want him.
He doesn't need a special someone.

It's one whole big complex of complete lies to spin off at the top of his head.
I already ate.
Oh my stomach isn't feeling well.
Maybe later.

Ashley likes changing the subject of things trying to avoid silly questions like those.

Ashley knows he will never be smart enough. Most of the students know their goals and dreams, while the young black haired teen is still confused with algebra. His teachers say he doesn't try but he does! He spends long hours rereading over the same god damn text books but never understanding what they mean.

Sooner or later Ashley will have to face the whole world, but he can't even face the imaginary life he has created that self destroys when he can't comprehend. Everything blends together there's no way out of it. He can't even understand basic concepts.

He wonders night and day how many pills would it take until he would fall. How many until his demons would swim and he would drown. He knows they can swim, he wants to cry for help but who would care?
Who would fucking care? His mind is a whirlpool and once he is at the bottom no one can help.
But Ashley can't be alone, no he isn't there's others like him a whole sick generation.
They are drowning with him. No matter what kind of strength he has left he cannot win. No, not without help. But he's too blind to see that he needs help.

He needs someone to cling onto, to know that they care. To know they are living and breathing. Somebody strong. But who would want to care for a helpless teenager?

In a world that judges that's why he sticks two finger down his throat.

Why?

Because he is fat and needs to remove it. But he has to do it. Ashley is in control and he must try to cope with it.

Ashley misses being a kid. Where life was easy and he could run and play never knowing that a world so cruel was at the tips of his fingers.

To be afraid of the dark and not of bullies. To use scissors to cut out pictures and not his own skin. To throw up when he is sick and to know a comforting hand holding back his hair.

His biggest fear is the future it's dark and uncanny. And he wonders what is stopping him from killing himself now. He has created his own personal hell.
Out of the fiery light in his own eyes. But his eyes are just ash now. No light, those beautiful brown eyes were gone leaving soulless ones behind. So he decides for empty since that is what he's become.