Night Before Dawn

3. A Blessing is A Blessing

"A blessing is a blessing."

I stared at my exhausted reflection, with the bags under my tired eyes and my fuzzed-out taper. Although it was patched-up, my beard was coming in. One of the last things I ever remembered my mom saying to me and Jamir was

"Nothing grows under pressure unless it's a diamond."

I wonder if she'll view me as the diamond that never folded under pressure or the stone that easily turned to dust.

"Jamar! Jamar! Come down here right now." Nana Jamie's voice croaked from the living room recliner.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

I flung open the wooden door and raced down the steps to see Grandma Jamie reaching her frail arms out for a bottle of water that now rolled itself across the living room floor.

"Nana. This is unacceptable I'm calling Nia to come over so she can provide for you for the day."

She looked at me with disgust however understanding shortly followed in her grayish brown eyes.

"I don't want her coming to see this baby, I've been telling you I'll make you my HHA, but this is just emb-"

"No Nana, I don't care what this is Nia and I love you, she will be here today."

I grasped the dusty water bottle and placed it into her hands before walking into the hoarded dining room. Phone books and magazines towered over me, damn near reaching the ceiling. I pulled out my damaged phone and facetimed Nia.

As she answered the phone all I could hear is Brooklyn giggling in the background while Nia would not stop smiling. Their happiness was so contagious it even caused me to show a shy grin.

"Yes Mari." Nia playfully rolled her eyes causing me to chuckle.

Suddenly we weren't two stressed 20-year-olds, but head over heels high school sweethearts.

"Nia." My tone was flat but warm.

She raised her eyebrow before looking at the camera "Jamar what do you want boy I'm not playing with you."

While she grew on edge I remembered the sudden deposit of money. I can't believe it even slipped my mind.

"Nia, I got your money, but I need to ask you for a favor."

I shuffled my words carefully. Although our situations were not the best Nia was far from dull. She's the only woman I ever met that I could say is just as sharp as my mom was. I could tell she was analyzing me just by how quiet the call became. She put down her edge control brush and sat the phone up on the bathroom sink.

"Mari, what do you need?"

She spoke softly and for once she wasn't being cold. Maybe underneath all that she still had some love for me. Perhaps I can still safely daydream about us coming back as one. I felt my core getting warm. I swiped out of our facetime call and apple cashed her a solid $350.

I watched her jaw dropped.

"Mari what the hell is? This better not be your full check I can't take all of this if it is-" Her voice went off trail abruptly. Brooklyn came running down the narrow hallway yelling

"Dada dada!" she was my ball of sunshine.

"Hi Babygirl, listen Nia all I need for you to do is to come over and help me get this house in order and let me have a day with my sweetheart Brooke. I'm worried for Nana, you need to see this house."

Nia's aura switched from blissful to stressed.

"Okay Mari, I'll be over there in an hour."

~

"Yeah, Mari I don't even want Babygirl here, take the car go drive by the McDonald's and get her a happy meal I got it from here." Nia ordered as she slid on her yellow cleaning gloves.

I wouldn't say she was halfway done but she was sure making her way through. She started with the kitchen and Nana's bedroom so Nana Jamie could have a place to rest while she went to work. She tossed me her keys and I playfully caught them like I was a quarterback causing Brooklyn to gurgle with smiles.

"Daddy, I want nuggies"

She giggled as I lifted her up. I was so blessed; my reality may have a lot of people and necessities missing from it. But as long as I have my family this is all I need. I strapped Nia into her pink car seat. Nia had a gray Hyundai that her dad gifted her once she graduated High School and she's been putting it to good use since. She was actually the first one to teach me how to drive. Glancing down memory lane, Nia was the only woman who taught me what it means to provide as a man. From fatherhood to driving, I owe it all to her.

I strapped myself in the drivers and just like that, me and Lil mama found our way down the P. While Disney radio was playing, I rolled myself towards the drive thru window. And to my astonishment I seen Aniyah working the window. She knew I had a daughter, but I can tell this whole transaction was about to be awkward.

"Hey boo, I noticed you an ordered a happy meal let me slide you an extra toy..."

She winked at me causing Brooklyn to furrow her eyebrows in confusion. I glared at her in disbelief but also silence. Aniyah gently handed me the happy meal along with a white envelope.

"Now not to hold up the drive thru line, but you didn't do much overtime so if the checks are shorter this pays period just come and see me and we can work it out."

She smirked seductively before slamming the window in my face. I pulled over into the vast parking lot while Nia munched on her chicken nuggets and fries, I could see she was also tense.

"Whatever is in this envelope Babygirl just know that I will forever do right by you. I will always take care of you and mommy you hear that, beautiful?" I struggled to grin but the last thing I ever wanted in this world was Brooklyn upset.

PAYCHECK FROM MCDONALD'S CORPORATION: $310.93

While I observed my surroundings, I questioned whether I should crash out now or just put in my 2 weeks? Fuck it, I'm not coming back. Whoever blessed me with that 1k this morning is obviously on my side.

"Three hundred dollars, that's all my time is worth seriously what the fuck."

As I looked into the car's angle view mirror, I saw Brooke beaming at me, she had a smile like her mama's and a heart like her dad's.

"Babygirl, how does the please touch museum sound?" I questioned while putting the check in the dashboard.

She squealed with excitement.

At the end of the day, this is who I do it for.