"pull it together" TNN SIOBHAN SERPANT ANGST

chapter eight

the next few weeks were a blur.

siobhan had never been so occupied, between working triple shifts, going to court, and coffee meetings with viv, she had barely any free time anymore.

but being kept busy was what she needed. something to distract her from what was happening around her.

living with autumn and winter was completely different to what siobhan was used to.
every morning, winter would make her coffee, black with no sugar, she would pick her own outfit ( without roger watching her ), she would wake up next to cadaver cuddling into her side, and the whole vibe of their house was so impeccably sweet and warm.

although she would never admit it, siobhan was growing very fond of her new housemates. winter's charm and kindness always made her feel welcome and apart of the family, and autumn's small smiles and reassuring eyes kept her positive and proud.

proud of herself.

for getting so far.

it was astonishing how safe she felt when around them, although she couldn't deny that the awkwardness was prominent.

siobhan was beginning to become very used to being the third wheel.

but she would much rather that than be alone.

ever since roger was taken into custody, life seemed almost lighter, as though someone had shone a flashlight into the deep dark pit she was living in.

the court case quickly became her worst nightmare. writing statements, participating in interviews and group discussions and talking to the officers became a dirty chore.

but every night she would remind herself,

'each interview, each statement, is one step closer to being free.'

and that is the sole thing that kept her going.

autumn was struggling too. as she was a witness to siobhan's story, she was to be present at every meeting and interview, and she also had to give statements from her childhood experiences with roger. which was something she definitely wasn't ready to talk about, especially to a stranger.

she sat, alone in a small room at the police station, waiting on the interviewer to arrive. the room reminded her much of her childhood bedroom, quite compact and bland, not much decoration or patterns (roger didn't allow individuality).

the barred windows also represented a slither of her past, resembling the prison cell that her father had mentally locked her in, where no emotion was to be shown and no achievements were to be celebrated.

a young woman entered the room, looking around until she saw autumn sitting by the window.

"you must be mrs fortune-knight?" the woman smiled and sat down opposite autumn.

"yes, it's nice to meet you" autumn faked a smile back.

"my name is catherine, il be interviewing you on your experiences of abuse and neglect from prosecutor roger knight in the years 1990-2022."

autumn took a silent breath and nodded, not looking catherine in the eye.

she cleared her throat.

"so, tell me it all. from the beginning."

that sentence hit autumn like a brick wall. eventhough she knew that she would eventually have to tell someone everything, the situation suddenly didn't feel real.

for siobhan, she thought.

hesitantly, she began to talk.

she started with the truth. about how roger never really loved his children as a parent should, how he only kept them around so they would eventually become his heirs.

then she moved onto the control. she spoke about how her and her brother were always under constant supervision. everything was always controlled.

their food
their clothes
their interests

the only thing that was personal and true to autumn and reece's personalities, was their friends.

reece always had more friends than autumn, same as he was always more popular and 'cooler' in everyone elses eyes. each year he moved from friend group to friend group, but it would always end up with him, mia and autumn.

autumn was opposite. she kept to herself, with few friends, who knew absolutely nothing about her. most nights she would sit and ponder who actually cared about her, and would always end up withe the same two people.

mia and reece.

not mum, she chose her fancy new boyfriend ane designer bags over her own children. and definitely not dad.

absolutely not dad.

the man she grew up loathing the most
the reason she rebelled so much as she got older
the person she aspired to never be

but then after the siblings fallout, suddenly, autumn's two people

went to none.

for all of the years she spent locked away in that house, roger didn't ease up one bit. each day was a battle of shouting and swearing, abuse and violence.

he didn't hit her

but he called her worthless and unloveable

he didn't hit her

but he made her insecure about her body

he didn't hit her

but he locked her out of the house in the pouring rain

he didn't hit her

but he manipulated her into doing whatever he wanted

he didn't hit her

until he did.

autumn could remember the day the physical violence began like yesterday.

it was halloween 2000, when she was hit for the first time. she already knew that it was coming as she got dressed for their families annual ball. roger had a serious problem with her dress.

'it's seriously inappropriate mutton chops' was what he said that night.

it didn't occur to eleven year old autumn what was so inappropriate about her sparkly purple witches dress.

'distracting the men' was another thing he said.

that night as she went to sleep, all she could think about was how men would be distracted by her beautiful new dress.

even reece thought it was beautiful. and he hardly ever paid her compliments.

he would have never have forgave himself if he knew the real reason he found her crying in bed that night.

he would have never forgave himself if he had noticed the large bruises on her ankles and wrists.

the next day at school, as her classmates laughed at her bruises and sneered at the tear stains on her cheeks, her father's snide voice echoed in her head.

'give them something else to look at'