SO LONG LONDON lando norris ²

★. . . one

Anastasia couldn't keep her foot still as she sat in the plush chair across from Hailey Greer, her long term, short distance therapist. She watched the ghastly woman jot down what could've only been insulting notes about Anastasia's manic anxiety and OCD, which seemed to have only made itself an issue after she gave birth 4 years ago.

"That's a bold statement, Anastasia. Why do you feel that way?" Ms. Greer inquired, and even though Anastasia knew in the back of her mind that the poor lady was only doing her job (one Anastasia was paying 17,000 a month for), it still felt like an attack. Which was another topic from a completely different session.

"I mean, he hasn't touched me. Like sexually. We haven't had sex. In a long time. Like really long. Is that normal? I know postpartum shit messes a relationship up, but we were always fine. Like... this." Anastasia crossed her fingers together and wiggled them in the air. A small sigh left her mouth and she sank into the dark green cushions beneath her.

"And you think that means he doesn't love you anymore?"

"I don't know. No? I hope not. But we haven't talked about it. It hadn't seemed like much of an issue. I mean, I still love him. It's different now."

"How so?" Anastasia wanted to throw her shoe at Ms. Greer's head, but she refrained. Hailey Greer was the only therapist on the East Coast who was willing to take her and who Anastasia was willing to talk to. It was an unfortunate predicament. A beneficial one, but the singer has yet to figure out for who.

"I always heard and was told that marriage changes after the first child. And I always expected it. I was ready for this shift everyone was telling me would happen. And it did. But I didn't think it would... it seems like it's lasted longer than I expected."

"And you haven't spoken to your husband about this?"

Anastasia shook her head, feeling guilty. Truth be told, Lando should probably be the one she should be talking to about these things. They had everything to do with him and nothing to do with some overpaid therapist. But all Anastasia felt when she'd go to bring it up was embarrassment. And this feeling that she was overreacting and Lando would think she was crazy. And not crazy in the way he likes. Crazy as in, crazy enough to leave her.

And Anastasia couldn't even fathom thinking about what would happen if he ever did.

"Anastasia, do you remember when you started feeling this way?"

"It's a long story."

"We have an hour. And tomorrow. And next Monday. My job is to listen to your stories."

Anastasia clenched her jaw, her nails digging into her arms. That was not her job. Her job was to over analyze Anastasia's breakdowns and diagnose her with another fucking panic disorder. Another bottle of pills to hide from Lando by shoving them in her pajama drawer.

"Start from the very beginning, Mrs. Norris."

maddie speaks !
so i've got so many ideas for this book
and it's a new type of writing for me so
i'm also still figuring that and the plot out.

but i'm so happy to be back!