Love, But Make It Stupid

Nothing is visible.

Two months after college ended.

Devi's mom was scolding her.

"If you don't eat, you'll stay sick. What kind of state have you put yourself in? Just lying around all day and studying, even at night!"

Kavita entered Devi's room, seeing everything scattered around. "Devi, what's wrong?"
Devi hugged Kavita and said, "I missed you." Devi's hair was disheveled, like she had become distressed from being alone.

Kavita suggested, "Why don't you come with me for a few days? You can prepare for the UPSC at my place. You don't have to stay at my house; I can arrange a room for you in Dadar."

"No, Di. I'm fine."

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"I told you, I'm fine."

"Then promise me you'll eat properly?"

"Yes, I will."

Devi's mom brought food, but after eating, Devi immediately felt nauseous and rushed to the bathroom. Her mom said, "Kavita, let's take her to the doctor; she fainted yesterday."

Kavita remarked, "Something's clearly bothering her."

Devi's mom added, "Whatever it is, she needs to learn to stay strong. She doesn't listen to me. You explain it to her. I'm worried; she used to be so happy. It's like someone's evil eye has affected her."

"Don't worry, Mom."

Devi came out of the bathroom but felt nauseous again, covering her mouth and running back. Kavita made a doctor's appointment and told Devi to be free at 8 PM.

Kavita made her lie down and put her books away. Devi's mom said, "Kavita, she's been talking in her sleep a lot lately."

"What does she say?"

"I can't understand."

They put Devi to sleep with a sleeping pill and took her to the doctor, who said she had typhoid and advised her to rest. Devi kept getting a fever. She couldn't figure out why all this was happening. Then, Janhvi came to visit Devi and sat in her room while Devi ate some fruit.

Janhvi closed the door and said angrily, "You've gone crazy over some girl!"

"What? I don't even think about her."

"Really? Swear that you didn't think about her today."

"I didn't. If she comes to mind, how can I stop it?" Devi said angrily.

"Then why don't you meet her if you feel like it? What's the harm?"

"I can't meet her. I have to move on. It was just a dream."

"You'll go mad like this. Keep yourself busy."

"I'm reading books."

"Is your mind even on the books if you're thinking about her all day, doing who knows what in her memory?" Janhvi said, frustrated.

"What did I do?"

"There's non-veg in your room, isn't there? You ordered biryani."

"How do you know?"

"You ordered from Yogesh, right? He tells me everything. Stop it. You don't even like non-veg. Get a grip on yourself. People don't go crazy in love."

"Then tell me how to forget. Is there a method? any way? I am ready for everything."

"I don't know, you have to be strong. Think about how much you've hurt your parents by acting this way."

Hearing this, Devi started crying. Feeling overwhelmed, she threw the non-veg food in the trash. Gathering her strength, she said, "I'm not some love-crazed fool. I have a life. I need to build a career."

"Now, that's the spirit!" Janhvi said enthusiastically.

Devi started jogging every morning, exercising, meditating, and often visiting a temple to try and calm her mind.

Then one day, she was staring at Devika's number. Unable to control herself, she called from her sister's phone, but Devika didn't pick up. Regaining her senses, Devi mustered the courage to change her number and deleted Devika's contact.

That day, Devi kept herself busy running around.

Her father asked Kavita, "Devi doesn't talk much these days. She's so quiet. Is she alright?"

Kavita replied, "Give her some time, Dad. She's just a kid. She'll be okay."

Kavita's husband came over, bringing lots of gifts, and cracked many jokes. Devi laughed heartily, but then tears started welling up in her eyes.

Kavita asked, "What's wrong with your eye?"

"Must be some dust," Devi said.

Devi rushed to the washroom.

She washed her face, mixing her tears with water so that she couldn't see she was crying. Slapping herself, she said,

"Stop it, Devi! If you keep crying like this, you won't be able to study. You need to succeed. Accept that she's not yours. Stop this drama." But when the tears didn't stop, she slapped herself again, "Stop it! Stop it!" She angrily talked herself down.

Coming out with a smile, Devi gradually shifted her focus to her studies. She stopped meeting anyone and buried herself in books. Her family knew something was wrong, but seeing her condition, they decided to postpone her marriage.

Himesh came to meet Devi for the last time and said to her,

"Here, I brought you a book." The book was titled "How to Fight with Yourself."

"Thanks, Himesh."

"I knew there was no beautiful girl like you written in my destiny. I never dreamed about you. You are very happy with Devika. There are people like that who you like, and I just don't understand those fancy clothes." Himesh said, controlling tears.

"You're the best just as you are, Himesh. Why are you comparing yourself to Devika?"

"Because you don't even know what exists between you and Devika." Himesh said in anger.

"No! We're just friends. What are you trying to say?"

"I don't want to argue. Devika is right for you. I'm wrong. I'm not good enough for you. I know I need your forgiveness if I made any mistakes. I'll take my leave now." Himesh said, controlling tears.

After saying this, Himesh left. When Devi opened the book, there was a note that read,

"Dear Devi, thank you for spending time with me. You used to fight for me, and it made me really happy. I will now love myself more than anyone else.

Just like you fought for me, will you fight for yourself? You're a fighter, do you remember? - Simple, Himesh." Her tears couldn't be stopped, and her eyes seemed to fill up upon hearing this.

Devi hugged Himesh's book. "I will love myself. I will fight for myself." wipe her tears away and tell herself.

It was just Devi and her room, nothing else. When her mind was filled with too many thoughts, she would write everything down on a piece of paper and then tear it up. Her room became littered with torn pages. With the fan running in her room, papers started flying everywhere, making it hard to see anything.

One day, while studying, she fell asleep.

In her dream, she saw a shadow of Devika saying, "How long will you keep running, Devi?"

Devi replied, while running. "I'm tired of running, but I don't know how to stop myself."

"I have the key to your escape."

"Give it to me. You have some of my things, please return them." Devi's hands are tied together. She wants to untie her hands, but she can't manage to do it.

"What things?" Sweat covers Devi's entire body, and exhaustion has taken over. Her legs feel weak, and her hands refuse to open.

"It must be here somewhere, my little smile " Devi's eyes dart around Devika's room, desperately searching as if hoping to find something. But nothing is visible.

Her body feels shattered, drained of all life, and her vision is blurred by a suffocating haze. Each breath is a battle, as if she's imprisoned inside a suffocating box with no escape.

Her throat is constricted, painfully strangled, and tears spill down her face, carving silent paths of suffering. She thrashes helplessly, clawing at the darkness, her heart pounding, unbearable ache as she fights to break free, though every ounce of strength is slipping away.

"This is a precious item. it can't be kept in my tiny place."

"You're lying," Devi shouted tears streaming down her face. Anger surged through Devi like a wildfire, a burning certainty that Devika was lying. As if fueled by that very rage, her hands finally broke free, trembling with the intensity of her emotions. She tried to grab Devika, but she couldn't because it was just a shadow. Devi woke up with tears in her eyes.