CW - homophobic slur towards the end of the chapter.
Sunday, 5th September 1971
Remus got through the rest of the week by ignoring the other boys as much as he could. This was a technique he'd picked up at St Edmund's – it was better not to be noticed, and best if no one knew anything about you at all. (He still got the odd dead-arm or his head shoved in the bogs, but on the whole no one ever made an effort to bother him.) James, Sirius and Peter were not at all like St Eddy's boys, of course. They were what Matron would call 'well-bred'.
Sirius and James especially seemed to come from money, he could tell from the way they talked about their homes, as well as the way they spoke – every vowel and consonant clearly pronounced. Remus listened carefully and resolved to stop dropping his 'H's'.
It wasn't just their accents, but what they said. Remus had grown up with adults constantly telling him to 'be quiet!', and with boys who picked on you for being a swot if you said any more words than necessary. James and Sirius spoke like characters in a novel; their language full of descriptive metaphor and scathing sarcasm. Their rapid fire wit was much more intimidating than a punch in the face, Remus thought – at least that was over quickly.
He'd so far avoided the other boys by going for walks around the castle. At St Edmund's he'd had very little personal liberty, and spent much of his time locked in rooms. At Hogwarts it seemed there was nowhere you couldn't go, and Remus was determined to investigate every inch of the bizarre landscape.
They'd been provided with maps to help them find their classrooms, but Remus found his sorely lacking and overly simplified. It did not list, for example, a secret passageway he had found which led from the dungeons to the first floor girl's loos. He had no idea why on earth anyone would need to get between the two, and the first time he used it he was accosted by a particularly irritating ghost who squirted him with hand soap. It would also have been helpful, Remus reasoned, to animate the map in the same way the paintings were – then at least you could keep track of the ridiculous moving staircases. He was sure one of the rooms moved as well, it never seemed to be in quite the same place.
By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around Remus was dreading Monday, which would not only be the first day after the full moon, but the first day of lessons. After dinner – which Remus spent alone, a few seats away from Sirius, James and Peter – he made his way quickly to McGonagall's office. She was waiting for him, along with the school nurse, who he'd been introduced to already. She was a kind, pleasant sort of woman; if a little fussy.
"Good evening, Mr Lupin," McGonagall smiled, "Thank you for being so prompt. Come along."
To Remus' surprise, the two women led him not to the dungeons, as he'd thought they might, but outside the castle, towards a very large twisted tree. The whomping willow was a recent addition to the grounds – Dumbledore had explained in his speech at the beginning of the year that it had been donated by an ex-pupil. Remus thought that whoever had donated it must have really hated the school, because the tree was not only terrifying in aspect, but mindlessly violent.
As they approached, Professor McGonagall did something so incredible that Remus almost cried out in shock. She seemed to vanish – shrinking down suddenly, until she was no longer there at all. In her place was a sleek yellow eyed tabby cat. Madam Pomfrey gave no sign that she was surprised, as the cat ran forward towards the tree, which was flailing its branches like a child having a tantrum. The cat was able to run right up to the trunk of the tree, escaping injury, and pressed a paw against one of the knots in the bark. The tree fell instantly still. Remus and Madam Pomfrey continued on, walking into a hollow beneath the tree which Remus had never noticed before. Inside, McGonagall was waiting for them, a witch again.
The passageway was dimly lit by torches giving off a greenish glow, and at the very end was a door. This opened into a small cottage, which looked long abandoned. The windows were boarded up and the doors bolted.
"Here we are." McGonagall tried to sound pleasant, though it seemed a very grim place. "Now I hope you understand that we cannot stay with you, but if you would like Madam Pomfrey to wait outside until the... transformation is complete?"
Remus shrugged.
"I'll be ok. How do I get back in the morning?"
"I'll pop by as soon as the sun rises," Madam Pomfrey assured him. "Patch you up and have you off to your lessons before anyone even notices you're gone." She smiled, but her eyes looked sad. It made Remus uncomfortable. But then, it was getting to that point in the evening when everything made him uncomfortable, his hair itched, his skin felt too tight, his temperature rose.
"You'd better go." He said, quickly, retreating into the bare room. There was a little cot against one wall with clean sheets. It looked as though it had been put there for him.
The two women left, locking the door heavily behind him. He heard McGonagall muttering again and wondered what sort of spells she was placing on the house. Whatever they were, it was better than that awful silver plating.
He sat on the bed for a moment, then got up again, restless. He paced the room. Sometimes it felt as though the wolf crept into his mind before it got hold of his body, and as darkness fell outside his senses became sharper, the hot swell of hunger beginning in his belly. Remus removed his clothes quickly, not wanting to rip them. A dull throb started up in his joints and he lay down on the bed. This was the worst part. His heartbeat was thudding in his ears, and he could swear he heard his tendons creaking as they stretched, his bones and teeth grinding against each other as they elongated, his skull splitting and reshaping.
He groaned and hissed until the pain grew too much, then he screamed. He could only hope that he was far enough from the school that no one could hear him. All in all, it took about twenty minutes – though he'd never actually timed it. Things became foggy afterwards, he couldn't always remember what happened once he became the wolf. That first night at Hogwarts was a blur, and he woke up with less injuries than usual. He suspected that he had sniffed around the unfamiliar territory, testing its boundaries. He must have tried to throw himself at the doors or windows at some point, because he had a patchwork of bruises down his left side for days afterwards.
Transforming back was just as unpleasant – a crushing, tightening feeling all over which left him breathless and aching. He wiped the tears from his eyes and crawled into the cot, grateful for a quiet hour of sleep before the sun rose completely.
Madam Pomfrey returned, as promised. Speaking in soothing tones, she lay her cool hands on his fevered brow.
"I don't like the look of you," she said, as he opened his sleepy eyes, "It's madness, thinking you can start a full school day like this. You're exhausted!"
No one had ever expressed such concern for him before, and it struck him uneasily. He pushed her away, pulling on his clothes,
"I'm fine. I want to go."
She made him drink something before letting him get up – it tasted cold and metallic, but he did feel better afterwards. He hurried up to Gryffindor tower to get his uniform on as fast as possible – he didn't want to miss breakfast, he was famished.
"Where were you?!" James accosted him as soon as he burst into their room. The three other boys were all up and dressed, looking immaculate – apart from James' hair, which always stuck up at the back.
"Nowhere." Remus pushed past to get to his things.
"Are you ok?" Sirius asked, glancing away from the mirror where he was smoothing down his own hair.
"Yeah," James added, watching Remus carefully, "You look a bit weird."
Remus scowled at them,
"Piss off."
"We're just being nice." Peter said, hands on his hips. The three of them stared at Remus, who was about to remove his t-shirt when he remembered his bruises.
"What?!" He growled at them, "You all gonna watch me get dressed? You posh boys are all a bunch of poofs." He marched into the bathroom with his clothes and slammed the door. After a few moments he heard Peter whining that he was hungry and they all left.
