the list that keeps growing
yet it's still the same four things
the same four things but add three new things
the list that never stops
stoping can never be achieved
stopping is giving up
giving up.
give up
give
up
just call me a failure at that point
failure
lack of success
that's what you can call me
little miss failure
it used to be a joke
a joke that was never funny
that i would fail one thing
one became two
two became three
now it's everything
can't get anything right without screwing up
strive for perfection
yet the perfectionist fails
don't show your cards
don't show how you truly feel
conceal don't feel
even fucking Disney told you that one
still you show that side
the side no one wants to see
the depressive side
the not sunshine side
the i'm giving up side
the i need it all to end side
the hidden side and hidden thoughts that were never meant to be shown to the world
once they're out they never go away
people don't forget
you want people to forget
so you try to push them away
trying more and more
to conceal and not feel
at the end of the day
it's you who's sitting under desks and hysterically catching their breath
the shaking legs
the zoning out
the hair ripping
it's all good until stronger defenses come out
the ones no one can know
where reinforcements come into play
best part is, no one would even realize why or what it's for
try one thing fail
try to fall back into old patterns
succed for maybe one day before caving
no matter how much the reflection stares back
it's always going to be the same
that four letter word coming right back around
i see it in waking hours
i see it in my sleep
it's always there to haunt me
like it knows i will always never succeed
one bad moment turns into days
then turn into multiple days
no one knows
let's keep it that way
all will be fine
all will be well
get the list smaller
get into school
it has to stop at some point?
right?
YOU ARE READING
sunshine & rain shine
Poetryevery tw possible. somehow started writing poetry, don't ask me how or why
