UNLOVED? or be loved?

Chapter 4: A heartbeat away

                           -Jake Romano-

The classroom was filled with the low hum of students murmuring and the quiet scratching of pencils on paper. Jake walked in, scanning the room for a place to sit, his eyes instinctively searching for her. As he glanced around, his gaze settled on an empty desk near the window—right beside Lily.

His heart did a little flip in his chest. There she was, her head resting on her folded arms, her long lashes brushing softly against her cheeks as she slept. Her face looked peaceful, a small strand of hair falling across her forehead. Jake felt his heart skip a beat. She looked so serene, so unlike the version of herself that seemed to disappear into the background every day.

He had always admired her, but seeing her like this made something inside him stir—a mixture of awe and tenderness. How could someone so quiet, so understated, have such an effect on him? He swallowed hard, feeling a fluttering in his stomach that was all too familiar now.

Why does she always do this to me? he thought, his mind racing as he approached the desk. Every time he was near her, it was like his heart had a mind of its own, beating faster, leaving him feeling uncharacteristically nervous. It was ridiculous, really. He was used to being the guy who could make anyone laugh, the one who was comfortable in every social situation. But with Lily, it was different.

He quietly slid into the seat next to her, careful not to disturb her sleep. The sunlight filtering through the window cast a soft glow on her face, and Jake found himself mesmerized. He hadn't noticed just how tired she looked before—had she been staying up late, reading those books she loved so much? His mind wandered to all the times he had seen her lost in her own world, oblivious to the chaos around her. It made him want to know more about her, to understand what went on in that beautiful, quiet mind of hers.

For a moment, Jake just sat there, watching her breathe softly, feeling his own heart steady in rhythm with hers. He had never been so close to her before, and now that he was, the reality of his feelings hit him like a tidal wave. He wasn't just interested in her from afar—he was falling for her. Hard.

How does she not know how amazing she is? he thought, his eyes lingering on the soft curve of her smile as she shifted slightly in her sleep. He had admired her for so long, quietly wishing he could be the one to break through the invisible walls she kept around herself. But every time he got close, something held him back—the fear that she wouldn't see him the way he saw her.

As he sat there, he noticed a notebook on her desk, the pages filled with neat, flowing handwriting. A few doodles lined the margins, little stars and swirls. It made him smile, seeing that small piece of her creative side, something he hadn't seen before. He longed to know more—what she thought about, what her dreams were. Did she even realize how special she was?

The bell rang suddenly, jolting Jake from his thoughts. Lily stirred, her eyes fluttering open as she blinked away the sleep. For a moment, she looked disoriented, glancing around the room before her gaze landed on Jake.

Her cheeks flushed slightly as she realized he was sitting right next to her. "Oh... hi," she said, her voice soft and still thick with sleep.

Jake's heart raced again, but he forced himself to act casual, offering her a warm smile. "Hey. You were really out of it there," he said, trying to keep his voice light, though he could barely contain the excitement bubbling inside him.

Lily gave a small, embarrassed laugh, rubbing her eyes. "Yeah, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was just... really tired."

Jake nodded, understanding. "Rough night?"

She shrugged, still a bit groggy. "Just stayed up too late reading. Again." She smiled sheepishly, and Jake couldn't help but grin at how endearing she was.

"That doesn't surprise me," he teased gently. "You and your books."

Lily looked down, fiddling with the edge of her notebook, her cheeks still slightly pink. "Yeah, I guess they keep me up more than I should let them."

There was a pause, and for a moment, Jake was overwhelmed by the simplicity of it all—just sitting next to her, talking, sharing this quiet moment. He wanted more of these moments. He wanted to be the one who made her laugh, who listened to her talk about her favorite stories. He wanted to be someone important to her.

"Lily," he said, his voice soft but steady.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide and curious.

"Would you maybe... want to hang out sometime?" The words came out before he could overthink them, and for a split second, he panicked. But he kept his gaze steady, waiting for her response.

Lily blinked, clearly surprised by the sudden question. Her lips parted as if she wasn't sure what to say. "Hang out?" she repeated softly, as if the idea was foreign to her.

Jake nodded, trying to keep his cool despite the nervous thrum in his chest. "Yeah. Like, outside of school. We could go to the fair or... I don't know, whatever you'd like." He felt a nervous laugh bubble up inside him but swallowed it down.

For a moment, Lily just stared at him, as if she was processing what he had said. Then, slowly, a smile spread across her face, soft and genuine. "That sounds... really nice," she said quietly.

Jake's heart swelled, relief flooding his entire being. "Cool," he said, trying to sound nonchalant, though he was practically buzzing with excitement. "We'll figure it out."

As the teacher walked in and class began, Jake couldn't stop the smile that crept across his face. For the first time, he felt like he had taken a step forward—closer to her, closer to something real. And that, he realized, was all he had ever wanted.