Just Like Her

sunshine

Over the sweeping hills and valleys of North Carolina, past a bustling highway, and across train tracks long since abandoned, there sits a small red brick-built college, and in one of these buildings, in a large room packed full of people, sitting in a chair, in the corner of the room, as far from the loud group as possible, was me, slouching in a black chair, arms crossed.

There were so many people, seated in their chairs, exchanging small talk and scrolling on their phones. A big screen dominated a good portion of the 'stage', and a man with a short red beard stood behind a podium, gazing condescendingly down at us, the lowly college students.

I crossed my legs and slouched further into my seat, making my stature smaller. I just wanted this to be all over so I could go back to my room and...what? Hide. Yes, hide.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a girl walking my way. Her curly blonde hair framed her sharp face, and she wore colorful pants and a tye dye shirt.

I looked away, only turning back when I heard the plop of her body as the girl settled down into the chair next to me. We were two humans in the middle of a sea of emptiness.

I crossed my arms, and wondered, why?

The girl took off her shoes, green and black converse, the pop-tops that are attached to their laces clinking as she tossed them to the floor and crossed her legs, not looking at me, gaze focused on the stage ahead.

That's where I focused as well.

"Please," the man said, voice projecting. "Move up. No one can be in the back. I want everyone to be able to hear me perfectly. Up, up. Everyone move."

I didn't budge for a moment, my heart pounding. The girl shoved her feet into her shoes and moved to a seat still in the back, but further up. I walked past her to the seat in front, my heart still in my throat.

I was flattered that she would sit next to me, stupid as it may sound. It means nothing.

"Ooo," she said from behind me. "Sit next to me."

"Ok." I turned and weaved past her to an empty chair.

The man began to talk. I cannot tell you, for the life of me, what he said. My eyes glazed over, and I imagined for myself a little soap opera, me and her the stars. She accompanied me everywhere; she was happiness and sunshine, and I was a rainstorm and we loved each other. The pleasure of the reverie flooded me. It was almost like my drug. Everything felt so real in those moments. I felt all the love and joy of finding the perfect one for you, your soulmate.

And then it faded.

It was a fun daydream, but I had learned, ages before, that none of them ever came true. It was part of the game that you had to accept. Otherwise, the low that came after destroyed you, the drunkenness was not worth the hangover.

Besides, I had made peace with the idea that I would have no one. It didn't pain me when I thought: That was fun, but we will never be friends.

What grabbed my attention and dragged it back to the speaker, a Dr. Walsh, was when I heard the word 'dead'.

"As you may or may not know," he was saying. "There has been suspicious behavior on campus this summer, something none of us are going to put up with. If anyone mentions any of the following, you must, for the safety of yourself and others, report this to campus police. 1) Any mention of the Cult of Dionysus, 2) The strange drug that killed Dineta Dine during the Scina Summer Retreat, suspected to be still on campus, 3) As I have said before, any and all matters pertaining to your security should be reported to campus police and not the local ones, this gives us time to keep matters pertaining to the Convent in hand. Are there any questions?"