What if Harry didn't come back after he died during the Battle of Hogwarts?
What if Draco was the first person who was hurt by this, when he's supposed to be glad he's gone?
But...he can't be.
"He...he was the only man I've ever loved!"
"I hate you...
Why did he have to die? What is wrong with me? I should've died, not him! Why can't I just...AUGHHHHHHHH!!!
I hate myself. I hate myself so goddamn much.
Tomorrow is my first meeting with my therapist. Mother and father say I don't need therapy, but...I don't give a shit about what they say. I am more important than them. I...I can finally say that. Fuck you, mom and dad. I'm controlling my own life from now on.
---the next day---
I walk into my therapists office, expecting to find a couch and a woman in a chair. What I actually saw shocked me. "Ginny?" I ask, my eyes widening.
Ginny smiles sweetly at me. Not at all what I expected. "Hi." She gestures to a seat across from her, and I sit down.
"Uh...aren't you mad at me...?" I ask, confused as to why she's not yelling at me. "You and Harry were...close..." I know this, because I've seen them hang out a lot.
Ginny shakes her head. "Why would I be mad?"
I freeze up at that question, and look down at my feet. "Because it's my fault he died." My voice is quiet and small, as if I'm a mouse.
Ginny sighs. "Draco, look at me."
I look up, slightly surprised she isn't calling me by my last name. "Okay..." I look skeptically at her.
Ginny hands me a blank piece of paper, and I stare at it. "What is this for?" I ask, a hint of digust and annoyance in my voice. I wince when I hear it.
Ginny doesn't seem to notice, which is odd to me. She smiles. "I want you to draw your feelings."
Draw my feelings? That seems a bit...strange. Aren't feelings something in your chest? ₴Ø₥Ɇ₮Ⱨł₦₲ ₮Ⱨ₳₮ ł Ø₦₵Ɇ Ⱨ₳Đ? I shake my head, getting rid of those thoughts. "Alright," I said, taking out a pen. "I'll try." I'm not the best artist, but I spent 20 minutes on my drawing. I hesitantly hand it back to Ginny, expecting her to laugh.
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Ginny's eyes widen. "Draco..." She looks up at me, her face filled with concern and her eyebrows furrowing. "Are you okay?"
I freeze up. My eyes well up with tears. I slowly shake my head. After a while, I...I can't hold back anymore. I burst into tears, and tears start streaming down my face. I haven't cried in a long time, and...it feels good. Almost...normal. It's like I was an alien before...no emotion...but...crying feels right...it feels...human...so to speak. After a few moments, my tears stop and I wipe them away. "S-sorry..." I mumble quietly.
Ginny smiles. "Don't be sorry. Crying is a normal emotion." Her alarm suddenly goes off, signaling the end of our session. "I'm sorry. We'll have to continue this conversation next week."
I stand up, a bit disappointed that I couldn't talk more, but I nod. "See you next week." I start to walk away.
"Oh, and Draco?" Ginny asks, making me stop walking. I turn around. "Yeah?" Ginny smiles and hands me a note folded in half. I stare at the note in confusion, but put it in my pocket and go back home.
---hours later---
I'm reading when I suddenly remember the note Ginny gave me. I take it out of my pocket.
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