Take My Hand

-6-

They have been cycling for quite sometime, Tony decided it was time to take a break. So, he directed Dome to the nearest café they found along their path. "Let's get some rest." He said to Dome as he got off his bicycle.

"But...I'm not tired." Dome retorted. He was hoping they could continue since he still had a lot of energy to burn.

"Go ahead if that is your wish. But I'm resting."

"I thought you are a very strong man and has a lot of stamina. How come you've decided to surrender after a few kilometres?"

"I'm trained to fight, not to cycle. In fighting, you need skills more than stamina." Tony explained with a soft smile on his face. He couldn't help it when he saw Dome had a pout on his lips, which he rarely seen.

"Owh...." Dome responded. "Then, I have no choice, right? I have to rest too."

"You may proceed if you want to. No one is stopping."

"True...but I don't want to get lost."

"You won't. And if you do, I will find you." Tony remarked. He was genuine about it. He wouldn't let Dome suffered anymore, either it was physically or mentally. He would be there to save him. Always. Starting from that moment. Which was something he rarely did for anyone.

Dome quietly looked at Tony who seemed unaware of what he had done to him. Those words, had somehow reminded him of Gao. He thought, Gao would be the last person who would said something like that. Even though the words might not be the same, but the vibes of that remarks, did sound similar. It made him feel protected.

"So? What is your decision?" Tony waited patiently for that man to decide.

"I'll wait for you. Besides, riding alone is no fun." Dome parked his bicycle and took a seat.

"You and Gao had done this a lot?" Asked Tony just to continue their conversation. But at the same time, he was curious too, whether this was part of their thing when Gao was still alive and well. But the answer was a shocker.

"Nope. As far as I remember, we never cycled together." Dome said after he tried to recall all those things he used to do with Gao.

"That's weird. Gao enjoyed cycling and so do you. So, how come you didn't imply that in your lifestyle?"

"Because...Gao rather took me a ride on his motorbike. With cycling, we had to ride separately, but with his motorbike, he could have my arms around him all the time." Dome explained the reason.

"Hmm...Gao was indeed a romantic person. He loved showing off his affection in front of everyone."

"What about you?" Dome queried.

"We weren't like that. Haruma only showed his affection behind a closed door." Tony uttered with a sad smile.

"Why? Was he afraid of showing his sexual preferences? Shouldn't he be proud of marrying you?" Dome couldn't understand why Haruma wanted to hide the truth. If it was him, he wanted to show everyone in the world that Gao was his husband.

"When you have too many enemies, you tend to hide your loved ones so they wouldn't be the enemies' target. He did it with purpose to keep me safe." Tony explained proudly. He understood Haruma's action. His husband was doing it for love.

"Owh...." Dome was ashamed for thinking badly about Haruma. "Err...may I ask you a question? It's okay if you refuse to answer but I do want to know....err....why....why did he commit suicide?"

Tony's expression turned gloomy instantly. "Because I was a bad husband. I couldn't help him with his severe depression. If I was a good husband, he might not be buried six feet under. I blame myself for not doing anything. Even when Haruma said he would be fine, I should have known that it was the opposite. I failed my task as a perfect husband."

Dome quietly moved to where Tony was seated and laced his hand on top of Tony's. "Stop blaming yourself. I don't think Haruma wants you to do that either. And I don't think you were a bad husband. Depression is not easy to cure. You had tried, but maybe, it wasn't meant to be." He said to console Tony.

Tony stared at Dome's hand on his own. Then, slowly, he lifted up his gaze to look at Dome's face, starting to admire his eyes, his nose, his lips. Apparently, Dome was doing the same too. And when their gazes met, both of them could feel their hearts were beating rapidly.

"Do...do you think, Gao would be mad, if I fall for someone else?" Dome asked while still staring at Tony.

"You know him better. Will he be mad if you do fall in love with someone else?" Tony retorted.

"He....he probably wants me to find my own happiness. He wouldn't want me to suffer."

"There....you have your answer." Tony smiled.

"What about Haruma? Will he be mad at you?"

"He told me to find my new happiness in his letter. Which means, I will be granting his wish, if I do fall for someone else." Tony said calmly.

Dome beamed. Slowly, he retreated his hand back and looked away.

"What's wrong?" Tony stared at Dome, wondering what was running through his mind.

"I think....I want to....err...." Dome suddenly paused.

"What do you want, Dome?" Asked Tony curiously.

"Never mind. Let's just forget about it and go home." Said Dome as he got up from where he was sitting, but he didn't get to go very far, because Tony was holding his arm.

"What do you want, Dome?" Asked Tony again, and his voice sounded a bit demanding. Slowly, he got up and stood in front of Dome while still holding his arm.

"It's nothing." Dome's gaze was diverted elsewhere. He was too scared to look at Tony. He was afraid that Tony might be able to read what he had in his mind.

"Then, eyes on me and say again it's nothing."

Dome swallowed nervously. He shut his eyes as he reluctantly turned his head to look straight at Tony and swallowed again before he dared to open his eyes. "It...It's nothing."

"Okay...if you say so." Tony replied, staring at Dome's eyes deeply, and he knew immediately, Dome was lying to him.