(The group look around the square, which is deserted. The trees and grass are neatly cut and the rows of houses all looked exactly the same. Chirpy music quietly plays from a set of loudspeakers)
Floyd: It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?
Poppy: Hey, look at this!
(Poppy runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors open up. There are little wooden people inside as they begin to sing)
Wooden People: (SINGING) Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town / Here we have some rules let us lay them down / Don't make waves, stay in line and we'll get along fine / Duloc is perfect place / Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your... face / Duloc is, Duloc is / Duloc is a perfect place.
(Suddenly a camera takes the group's picture, all of which are dumbfounded)
Poppy: Wow! Let's do that again!
(Poppy makes ready to run over and pull the lever again but Viva quickly grabs her)
Viva: No! No! No, no, no! (whispers) No.
(They hear a trumpet fanfare from afar and head over to investigate. A voice sounds from the distance)
Lord Farquaad: Brave knights! You are the best and brightest in all the land, and today one of you shall prove himself better and brighter than all the rest.
(As they walk down the tunnel to get into the arena, Poppy hums the Duloc theme song)
Branch: You hum that song one more time, and I shove a stake down your throat.
(Viva gives Branch a threatening glare)
Poppy: Sorry about that.
(In the center of a stadium-like arena, Duloc Knights are gathered as a large crowd of citizens watches on from the stands. Horses, kegs of beer, arrow targets, and other equipment are scattered about. Farquaad is atop a high up balcony, flanked by two guards, addressing the crowd. The group step out onto the arena but don't seem to be noticed)
Lord Farquaad: That champion shall have the honor-- no, no -- the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place. And so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
(The crowd cheers and applauds. John Dory looks around, noticing a man holding up a cue card up to the crowd that reads "APPLAUSE")
Lord Farquaad: Let the tournament begin!
(John and the others marched through the Duloc Knights, who back away in disgust upon noticing them)
Lord Farquaad: Oh! What are those things? They're hideous!
(The crowd gasps and goes quiet)
Branch: Ah, that's not very nice (looks at Poppy and Viva and then back at Lord Farquaad) It's just two Pop Trolls.
(Poppy looks confused, and Viva glared at the young brother)
Lord Farquaad: Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the five Pop Beasts will be named champion! Have at them!
(Lord Farquaad points at John Dory and his brothers. The Duloc Knights draw their weapons and slowly approach the five as they back up, the crowd cheering them on)
Crowd: Get them!
Bruce: Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (He bumps into a table, noticing mugs of ale)
Crowd: Go ahead! Get him!
Bruce: (holds up a mug of ale) Can't we just settle this over a pint?
Crowd: Kill the beast!
Bruce: No? All right then. (drinks the ale in one gulp) Come on!
(Bruce takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel of ale behind him. The ale comes rushing out, knocking the knights down and wetting the ground into mud. The brothers separated as Clay slides past the knights and uses a spear like a hockey stick to knock one off his feet. Viva hops up onto one of the larger beer barrels. It breaks free of its ropes and begins to roll. Viva manages to squish 2 knights into the mud and rolls over another group of knights running after John Dory and Branch. The two brothers hop over a set of ropes that appears to make up a wrestling ring. Branch uses the ropes to launch himself at 2 knights, knocking them over with his arms. The crowd boos. John Dory jump kicks a knight, and then body slams another. A knight comes from behind Branch with his spear ready to attack. The crowd gasps, but before he can make a move Branch puts him in a full-nelson hold)
Floyd: Hey, Branch, tag me! Tag me!
(Branch brings the knight over to Floyd, who leans on the ropes and headbutts the knight. John Dory gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd, who have now begun to cheer for him, his brothers, Poppy, and Viva. John Dory stands on top of the ropes and beckons on the crowd's cheers)
John Dory: Yeah!
(A knight tries to sneak up behind John, but fails to catch him as he turns in time to sees him and jumps on him)
Woman: The chair! Give him the chair!
(John Dory uses a folding chair to smack the knight lying on the ground. Clay dispatches a few more knights with ease. Bruce picks up the last knight, spinning him over his head and then throwing him against the post of the wrestling ring. Poppy kicks his helmet, and the ding sounds the end of the match. Finally all the knights are down. The audience goes wild)
Viva: Viva la viva, baby!
John Dory: Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs)
(Lord Farquaad motions to the guards, who aim their crossbows at the group. The crowd gasps and goes silent. John Dory stops laughing as he pulls Branch and his brothers behind him. Viva does the same with Poppy)
Guard: Shall I give the order, sir?
Lord Farquaad: No, I have a better idea. People of Duloc! I give you our champion!
(The crowd cheers and a fanfare plays)
John Dory: What?
Lord Farquaad: Congratulations, Pop Beast. You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest.
Bruce: Quest? We're already on a quest. A quest to get our swamp back.
Lord Farquaad: Your swamp?
Clay: Yeah, our swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures!
Lord Farquaad: Indeed. All right, beasts. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back.
Floyd: Exactly the way it was?
Lord Farquaad: Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
Branch: And the squatters?
Lord Farquaad: As good as gone.
(John Dory glances at the soldiers still aiming their crossbows and then turns back to Lord Farquaad)
John Dory: What kind of quest?
YOU ARE READING
Trolls x Shrek Au
AdventureThis story is about five beast brothers: John Dory, Bruce, Clay, Floyd, and Branch. They all lived in isolation in the swamp in their Grandma's pod. They enjoyed their lives there until a ruler named Lord Farquaad dumped fairy tale creatures in thei...
