On My Own - Dukesaw

LOOK AWAY

(Note: Wow, this took longer than expected, I've been busy.)

The first few classes of the year were as usual, learning nothing, no one was even paying attention aside from the nerds. Now, Duke couldn't even tell if would be considered a nerd or not. All of the classrooms smelled dusty, as if no one had cleaned them when they came back from the school.

'The students may change, but the teachers won't.' Duke noted to herself. She walked to her History class, not one she particularly looked forward to.

When she walked in, the teacher began explaining the seating arrangements, and that's when she realized.

Heather was in this class, and she would have to sit beside her.

'Lord, this day can't get any fucking worse can it?'

She took a deep breath, and sat down. She couldn't look at her, and she knew that Heather probably couldn't either.

The teacher went on to explain what they'd be learning in this class, blah blah blah, not important. She felt her leg bouncing up and down, but she didn't do anything to stop it. Her leg bumped into Heathers for a moment.

"Sorry.." Duke mumbled, looking up for just a moment. She saw Heather narrow her eyes at her, causing her to move her head back to the way it was before.

'Why do I have to be seated here?' She wondered. Her breathing intensified slightly, but she didn't notice it due to all the thoughts racing through her head.

The time ticked by slowly, she wasn't paying any attention to reality until the teacher called her name on the attendance sheet board.

"Heather Duke?"

Her head shot up.

"Here," She mumbled. No one seemed to care about the fact that she appeared to be nervous, unlike how she was last year. It was one of the only times where she was glad people forgot about that. She wouldn't want someone to catch her in what seemed to be a moment of weakness.

Finally, after what felt like years, the class was over, but then it just meant sitting alone at lunch. Or maybe she wouldn't, who knows? She certainly didn't.

In the lunch line, she ended up being behind Veronica, out of all people. Of course it has to be the one she missed the most. She just hoped that she wouldn't speak to her.

"Hey Heather," Veronica mumbled, looking away almost immediately after she spoke.

Duke felt her cheeks turn a light pink, which she hated. She was always so conflicted on her friendship with Veronica. Whenever they were together alone, which sadly wasn't often, she couldn't help but feel like a weight was lifted off of her, which would usually be a good thing, but when it was Veronica, it made everything feel so fuzzy.

"Hello? Can you move, asshole?" Some random person who was behind her asked.

Fuck. I zoned out in the lunch line out of all places? And about Veronica again?

She grabbed her food and moved on.

Lunch was different, some random group of girls sat beside her and began making small talk, and she actually enjoyed it. She learned that their names were Nicole, Amber, and Tiffany. They definitely were nerds, Duke could tell, only this time she wasn't living in fear of interacting with them without a hint of spite.

Nicole was new, and didn't know what 'the heathers' were, as the entire school of course moved on from it like they always did, Amber and Tiffany were aware of that and talked to her like the clique never existed. Duke didn't know if she liked that or not.

Later, while she was walking out of school, Duke wondered if things would be better this way, running away from everything. Maybe she didn't have to apologize to Heather, maybe she didn't need to talk to her again, and maybe she would just get over Veronica-

"Heather."

She felt a hand on her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. She knew exactly who it was. After nervously turning around, she was met with an expression on Veronica's face which she couldn't quite read. She couldn't tell if Veronica was angry, nervous, happy, or somehow, all of the above.

"Veronica?" Duke tilted her head, trying to hide her obvious skittish attitude at the moment. The girl in front of her slowly moved her hand off Duke's shoulder.

"How have you been..?" She asked.

Duke didn't know if she wanted to answer truthfully or not at first, but why tell someone you aren't okay when you haven't talked to them for so long?

"I'm good.."

There was a moment of silence.

"So..see you around?" Heather asked, ready to walk off but not ready to leave her.

"Yeah.." Veronica said, "I will,"

Then they both went their separate ways, but not forever.

—

When Veronica got home, she fell face first into her bed, groaning as she did so. She had a normal day, there was nothing that could've happened to her that could've changed how it went. The only different thing was the conversation that she had at the end of it.

She begins to ruffle her own hair in frustration.

"God, Heather. Why do you make me feel this way?"