A Grand Don't Come For Free

It Was Supposed to be so Easy.

#1 Mike

It was supposed to be so easy...

Just take back the DVD.
Withdraw that extra money.
Tell mum I wouldn't be back for tea.
Then grab my savings and hurry.

So there I was, sprinting through town with 'Titanic' in hand, dodging smackheads with a mission to beat that deadline. They really have it for us working-class folks, don't they? Like, returning a simple DVD should be a free pass, but nope, they'll slap you with a hefty late fee just for laughs. It's like they're saying, 'Hey, look at us, we're stealing your hard-earned cash, just because we can'.

My heart pounded like a drum as I pushed my legs to the limit, tearing up the steep incline. Each stride caused aching muscles and burning lungs. I was like a madman on a mission, climbing that hill, sweat rolling down my face, determined to reach the top before I could be late.

Had to stop for a few ticks, I started feeling sick. The realization hit like a ton of bricks, the disc, the reason for this chaotic dash, was safely tucked away on my bedside table, while I stood there panting and drenched in sweat, clutching an empty case at the video shop. The clerk's judgmental gaze seemed to say it all; 'what a knob'.

The day felt like a massive waste of time; staying in and doing nothing would have been a better choice. It seemed that by stepping outside, I had only managed to create more work and obligations for myself, while getting nothing in return. It was a harsh reminder that sometimes, doing nothing is the best course of action, because doing too much for nothing is simply not worth the effort.

Despite screwing up with the DVD return, I had no choice but to soldier on. I had to rush to the bank to get my money, break the news to mum about missing tea, grab the savings from home, and still beat the clock. It was like a frantic frenzy of errands, with no time to pause and catch a breath. Talk about a rough day.

Running to the cash machine already feeling exhausted, I was greeted with an extra bonus: a mandatory splash from a passing car, leaving me drenched and more irritated than ever. It's like the universe had a sick sense of humor, ensuring that my already-rough day was drenched in extra misery. I was completely soaked, my clothes clinging to my body like a cold, wet embrace, making the entire situation all the more uncomfortable.

The sight of a monstrous queue at the cash machine was enough to bubble my already simmering rage over the edge. The lack of urgency from the lady in front was like pouring gasoline on a fire, and my annoyance threatened to blow a fuse. How long does it take to validate your wages? My patience was stretched thin, and the situation was pushing me close to the breaking point.

Just as I thought my struggle was over, I was greeted with a cruel joke: the machine announced, "Insufficient funds." It was like a sick punchline to a joke I hadn't heard the setup to. All that effort and frustration, only to be hit with financial reality. It was a bitter pill to swallow. Not that I'd mind swallowing a few of those right about now.

Once again, I faced the harsh truth that leaving the house only resulted in a wasted day with absolutely nothing accomplished. I began to wonder why I didn't just stay in and do nothing. It would've resulted in less effort, less disappointment.

So I failed on the DVD, couldn't withdraw any money, but I still had to call mum, get the savings, and then hurry.

So I search for my phone so that I could tell her I can't go and that. At least I remembered my phone, man. I didn't know her number offhand. Where's my phone, have I got it? Oh this is a crock of shit. I've lost the fucking thing. Nevermind, it's in my pocket. But the batteries nearly flat. I'll have to be quick. Oh for fucks sake, the battery is flat.

I have achieved shit all today. Why didn't I just stay in bed?

So I've failed on the DVD, couldn't withdraw any money, or call mum about tea. I'll have to get the savings and hurry. so I rush home to grab it, but where was the money?

I was certain I had left it in the living room, right next to the telly. But to my dismay, the money was nowhere to be found. This was not just a case of forgetfulness, it felt like some wank joke was playing out, and I was the unwilling punch line. What were the odds of leaving something precisely where I needed it only for it to up and vanish? The frustration was almost funny in its absurdity.

But the shoebox full of money just disappearing from me, was most definitely not what I call funny. A grand don't come for free.

I should've just stayed in fucking bed, man.

Soaked to the bone in my jeans. I imagine my mum's weeping right now, and the thousand pounds I swore that I left on the fireplace this morning has simply disappeared before my eyes, his eyes, and yours.

And I'm a thousand pounds poorer. That's a hundred thousand pennies, no more. A thousandth of a million squid,
worth a whole fifty scores. Gone, withdrawn, from my life. The money is no more for sure.

It was supposed to be so easy...

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Most of this is just the lyrics from the song but OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH!!!!