as a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

A/N- This is the third part in a four part series. We'll spend the entire fourth part in chaotic happy fun land. I tried to skip past all the angst and I just couldn't. 

A/N #2- It was an intentional decision to make Hadara's patrons a stag and not gender swap it to a doe. Hadara takes on a lot of roles in this series that are traditionally masculine, and I think she would associate more with the stag than the doe. Plus I love the idea that James, Regulus, Hadara, Barty would all share the same Patronus.

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Sirius lifts the amber bottle to his eyes and squints. Starlight blurs his vision even more than the firewhiskey, but if he looks just right he can make out the inside of the bottle. “Damn, it’s empty.”

Remus rolls onto his side in the grass. “You’ve had enough anyways.”

The admonishment is only slightly undermined by the way he slurs his words. He’s two bottles deep himself. Barty forces his head up from the grass and peers at his own bottle, which is only halfway empty. He’ll never be able to keep up with Remus’ insane alcohol tolerance.

“I miss Hadara already,” Sirius whines. “It’s so fucking quiet.”

“We have records,” Remus reminds him. “Maybe we should go inside and put some on.”

“Don’t wanna move,” Barty throws in, stirring from his thoughts. 

Remus pushes himself up and snatches Barty’s firewhiskey bottle from his hands and takes a gulp from it. Barty sits up unsteadily and glares at him. Remus waves a bossy finger in Barty’s face. “You’re a slip of a man. Hadara will kill me if I let you get alcohol poisoning.” 

“First order of business,” Sirius slurs, “is putting some meat on Barty’s bones.”

Remus pulls Sirius to sit in his lap. Sirius points a finger at Barty as his head lolls back onto Remus’ chest. “What we gotta do is get you trained with that dagger. It’s absolutely no use if you can’t hit anyone with it!”

“We should get you more,” Remus muses, taking another sip. “Places like the Ministry ask you to turn in your weapons, but they don’t actually search you. You could have fifteen on you but they’d never know as long as you turn one in.”

Barty nods unsteadily and steals his bottle back from Remus. “Gotta be able to protect the Dark Lady.”

Sirius stills and narrows his eyes at Barty. “You never call her Hadara.”

Barty shrugs. “She never gave me permission to.” A blush steals up his cheeks. “There has to be a line…I guess.”

Remus giggles, “It’s a name , Barty.” 

Barty shakes his head, “You don’t get it, Remus. Names are…intimate.”

It’s silly really, and he can’t even put it into words. He’s called Remus and Sirius by their first names the entire time, but Hadara holds herself to a higher standard. She follows Pureblood customs unfailingly. It is a privilege to use her first name, and a right only she holds to give away. 

It feels odd to even be sitting here discussing this, like he has no right to. 

“Would you use it if she asked you to?” Remus asks. 

Barty startles out of his thoughts. “I don’t…I don’t know. Maybe. If that’s what she wanted.”  

The thought of using her first name feels almost unbearably intimate. He’s been getting better about letting people in, letting them near him, but it’s still hard after so many years without love.