Orm Kornnaphat, a highly esteemed princess, has always excelled in her royal duties and academic pursuits. However, she soon finds herself grappling with certain subjects in the demanding Royal University of Economics. Concerned for her daughter's f...
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I flopped onto my bed, the soft comforter enveloping me like a cocoon, yet it did little to ease the turmoil swirling inside my mind. My room was dimly lit, the evening sun filtering through the curtains and casting long shadows across the walls. I stared up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened during our tutoring session.
Could Ling be taken? The thought gnawed at me, digging into the corners of my mind like a relentless parasite. I couldn't shake the image of her walking alongside that girl, their casual laughter and easy rapport striking a stark contrast to our own dynamic. It felt like a punch to the gut, and I turned my head away from the ceiling, burying my face in my pillow in frustration.
Why did it bother me so much? Why did the thought of Ling being with someone else twist my stomach into knots? I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to care, yet here I was, replaying every moment from our last session, dissecting every look and every word. I remembered Ling's guarded demeanor when I asked about the girl. She had been so evasive, and it only deepened my unease.
"Does she really mean that little to you?" I whispered to myself, wishing for an answer. The silence in my room was deafening, amplifying the chaos in my head. I rolled over to look at my bedside clock—8:47 PM. I still had time to study, but all I could think about was Ling and that girl. The way Ling reacted, the way she brushed off my questions—it all pointed to something more.
What if she was interested in that girl? The idea made my chest tighten. I didn't want to picture Ling with someone else, especially someone who might be able to make her smile the way I wanted to. A strange pang of jealousy washed over me, stirring a cocktail of emotions I wasn't prepared to handle.
"Why do I even care?" I mumbled into my pillow, feeling utterly lost. I had spent so much time pretending I was fine with being single, that I didn't need anyone, yet here I was, lying on my bed, torn between wanting Ling to be happy and wanting her to be mine.
I closed my eyes, trying to summon the strength to shake off these thoughts. Ling was my tutor—just my tutor. That was all this was supposed to be. But the more I tried to convince myself of that, the more my mind wandered to moments that felt distinctly personal, moments that blurred the lines of our relationship.
Her laughter when I cracked a joke, the way she looked at me when I finally grasped a concept, the small, fleeting smiles that passed between us. I never thought I could feel so strongly about someone, especially someone who had been so harsh and distant in the beginning.
"Is this what falling for someone feels like?" I asked, turning my head to glance at the wall adorned with photos of my friends and family. I found myself wondering if any of them could see through my facade. Did they know I was wrestling with feelings for a girl who could potentially belong to someone else?
A soft sigh escaped my lips as I pulled myself into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard. I hugged my knees to my chest, my heart heavy with confusion. I didn't want to lose Ling to someone else, yet the thought of her being with someone else ignited a flame of fear inside me. It felt selfish, yet I couldn't help but want her attention, her affection, all for myself.
The moment I thought I had a handle on my emotions, it spiraled into chaos again. "I need to talk to her," I finally decided, feeling the determination grow within me. "I need to find out what's going on."
But as soon as the thought crossed my mind, a wave of anxiety washed over me. What if I was wrong? What if Ling was just a friend to that girl, and I was making a mountain out of a molehill? Or worse, what if I confronted her and she shut down completely? The very idea made my stomach churn.
I couldn't keep living in this state of uncertainty, but I didn't know how to approach the topic without risking our already fragile relationship. I picked up my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I landed on Ling's name. I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the screen, battling with the urge to reach out. I could message her, but what would I even say?
"Hey, I know I asked about that girl earlier, but I just wanted to say I'm totally fine if you're dating someone," I rehearsed aloud, rolling my eyes at the absurdity of it all. "How dumb does that sound?"
After a moment of self-loathing, I tossed my phone aside, letting it land on the bed. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, taking a deep breath to steady my racing heart. I had to be rational about this. Ling was a fiercely independent person. She wouldn't just let someone in without a reason.
Still, the thought lingered in my mind: What if I had missed my chance? What if she truly did care for someone else, and I had been too blinded by my own feelings to see it?
As the minutes ticked by, I felt myself spiraling into a pit of despair. I wanted to be brave enough to confront my feelings, to pursue whatever it was I had with Ling. But the fear of rejection gnawed at me, and the thought of seeing her with someone else pushed me further into doubt.
Maybe it was time to put my feelings on the line. I needed to confront Ling again, to dig deeper into what was between us. But as I considered my options, I realized I might not be ready for the answer.
With a heavy heart and a mind full of turmoil, I finally succumbed to the weight of exhaustion. I turned off the light and lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling until my eyes fluttered closed, the last thought before sleep overtaking me being the same question I had been asking myself all night:
