Authors Note-
Hello my angels! I'm so sorry for the long wait and short chapter. Trying to get back into Shivian! I love you all!!
Trigger warning- Eating disorder mentions and abuse of alcohol and substances
To please Roger Knight is to die a thousand times over and still, the sacrifice is never enough.
Siobhan would know that best out of everyone, even Roger's own children, because she has to risk meeting God at his hands each time he feels angry. She had to try and soothe his wrath while bringing him a beer, knowing that bottle would be broken over her back later on. Just the same as before, she'd slowly move over to him and be sure not to make any sound. Her hands carefully held the bottle as she handed it over to him and she'd watch him down in a minute, his eyes lingering on her longer than she cared for them to.
Siobhan mustered up a small smile, though it felt wrong on her face and she could feel her cheeks cramp up after not too long. It wasn't long before she'd end up in his lap and he'd force her to drink as well, which had never been a big deal before.
But now? She had someone else to think of and take care of, and she would be damned if her drinking caused her baby any issues. She felt thankful on the nights he didn't push her as hard to follow his lead and on the others where she couldn't avoid it, she'd spend hours in the bathroom trying to bring it back up afterwards.She knew that was wrong too, but she was trying the best she could. Siobhan wanted to give this little baby inside of her a fighting chance and if that meant suffering for a few hours more every week, she'd do it.
As the weeks passed on, it was getting harder and harder to hide the fact that she was putting on weight and her stomach was beginning to bulge out, tell tale signs of pregnancy. Not to Roger though, he would watch her as she stepped on and off the scale and sigh. Grabbing her by the back of her shirt and pulling her into his arms.
"Princess...What's going on?"
His breath on her neck, so close to her, made her squirm.
"Nothing, Roger, I promise."
"Are you sure? Do I need to come in with you next time you have one of your little visits to the doctors?"
Siobhan wanted to freeze up and beg him not to, but it would've been futile and she knew if she reacted like that...It would raise suspicion and the last thing she wanted for this little one was for them to be on Roger's radar. She simply did her best to stay relaxed and ran a hand through her hair.
"No, Roger, it's okay...Do you want me to see if they'll give me more of those weight loss pills?"
"Well, I can't have you thickening up on me, can I, Princess?"
Siobhan felt her stomach churning at the way he spoke to her, she wondered how on Earth she was meant to keep their, no, her baby safe from him? Surely taking weight loss pills more than someone should would harm them and she didn't want the little one to be subjected to his cruelty before they were born. Her hands twitched at her sides, wanting nothing more than to move to her stomach, but she kept them down.
This wasn't just about her anymore.
It was about her Sunshine.
There was a flicker of light growing inside of her, a light he couldn't carelessly turn off.
And God forbid anyone who tried to take her sunshine away.
"I-I'd rather starve."
Siobhan managed to choke out the word and once they were out in the air, the weight of them settled deep in her heart. It wasn't true, she'd be happy to gain a few pounds so she had something to cushion his rough and greedy touches. But for him, she'd lie til she was blue in the face to please him.
"Good girl, I'd rather you starve too than that ever happen...Let's not make it come down to that though, got it?"
Roger's grip on the back of Siobhan's shirt loosened as he spun her to face him, a sickly sweet grin played on his lips. The fact he was silent made her more nervous than when he spoke, but she stood still as he looked over her. His little trophy, he couldn't believe he had such a perfect prize and that no one else would have their hands on her.
Not on his watch.
He shoved her back from him, enough to knock her down and then briskly walked away. Siobhan waited a few minutes to make sure he had truly left the house before she shakily stood up on the ground, her hands pressed tightly against her stomach.
"Shhh...It's okay." Siobhan's voice was barely there, like she wasn't sure if she believed what she was saying or not. She tried to stay calm, freaking out would only stress herself and the baby out more, and she needed to just breathe.
Siobhan just had to stick it out with Roger long enough to make a plan for the future and then she'd leave and never look back. Right? It was all going to work out for her and she'd be able to be the mother she never had and experience unconditional love for the first time, through herself and what she was strong enough to protect.
She could do this for her little sunshine.
Her only sunshine.
YOU ARE READING
The Waiting Room|| Shivian
Fanfiction"If you were a waiting room, I'd never see a doctor. I would sit there with my first aid kit and bleed."