INTRODUCTION

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"There's only one hour left until our wedding ceremony, you can't do this, Khun Nueng."

Even the groom, who I am going to marry calls me "Khun" with respect. Is this the person who will sleep by my side and be the head of my family? I just looked at him, smiled faintly, kept my composure, and asked him to go back...

"Are you worthy enough?"

The lives of ordinary people would be like a graph with peaks and valleys; they will experience seka and duak, such as the thrill of the birth of a baby, the deep disappointment of losing a team, the extreme joy of the return of a lover's love, and the excruciating pain of betrayal due infidelity. But that's the life of ordinary people. Not me. I have never been disappointed with this life.

I mean it. I have never been discouraged or disappointed with anything in this world. I was born into a rich family with status. In addition, I have the noble title "Mhom Luang (ML)". NAlthough these titles don't mean much in this day and age, hearing them gives people the impression that I am authoritative, dignified, and intimidating.

Yes. And when people think I have those qualities, I have to carry myself worthy of my title. I was born into a respectable family, so I have to live a more orderly life than other people. Everything has to be perfect.For as long as I can remember, I have been trained to believe that there are no limits to what I can accomplish. It seems that I have done a lot of good things in my previous life, so in this life, I was born with a perfect appearance and a perfect brain. As a result, I have never experienced disappointment. Never.

Maybe because my grandmother (on my father's side of the family) has raised me to be a perfectionist since I was born. It's like my brain is programmed to always say to myself,

Aristocrat, Aristocrat, Aristocrat.

Ultimately, I don't think anyone is worthy of me. So one day, when my grandmother forced me to marry, I wanted to take revenge on her.So I agreed, then ran off in the middle of the ceremony, tearing her pride apart. And yes, besides my grandmother, the person who was also deeply hurt by my actions was the groom, the son of the prime minister that my grandmother carefully "chose" for me.

"Are you worthy enough?"

Yes. That's a question that no one has been able to answer since I can remember. All the women and men who had confessed their love to me recoiled in shame as soon as I asked them this question.There is no one worthy of me in this world. And I have no intention of having a relationship with anyone.

This is me. ML Sippakorn.

I came out of the palace and out of everyone's lives to gain life experience. To be honest, I don't have any goals in life. Even with the work I wanted to do, I felt like everything was "not worth it". But I have painting skills, so I try to use them to make a living. And that makes earning a living fun.

Sometimes, I have enough food. Sometimes, I don't have it. People who used to live magnificent palaces now live in rented rooms that cost only a few thousand baht per month. But even though life is not easy, I'm not worried at all. I don't understand at all those who commit suicide because they are broke. I wanted to feel disappointed but I didn't. If you ask why I torture myself like this is that to get back at my grandmother, I guess. I want her to worry. I want her to grieve that she can't control everything like she used to. And one of the things that bothered me was what happened to Song.

Grandma deserves punishment and deserves to relive what happened. Will there be anything in this world that can make me feel sad? I left the palace to torture myself like this, and I still don't know what sadness is. If I don't know sadness, I won't know happiness. I want to feel happiness so much that my heart beats fast. Will that happen to me?

"Ar-Nueng."

"What?"

I glanced at a girl in a student uniform who was probably one decades younger than me. She held her chin in her hands, looking at me with sweet eyes. She's probably done it over a hundred times this month. Since we met, this crazy kid keeps hanging around me and looking at me with those eyes, no matter what I do. And kept repeating it, which was starting to frustrate me.

"I love Ar Nueng."

Maybe this child will be the first and only person who makes me understand "sadness" for the first time. This child, whose name is similar to mine, A-Nueng.

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