CHAPTER 5: The Eyes Are The Windows Of The Soul

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I can't believe I will be sitting as a "mother" receiving a bouquet of jasmine flowers in this life. As I sat here and A-Nueng placed her hand on my lap as an expression of respect, I had to admit that I was so embarrassed that my face turned red. And I did something unreasonable, like gently patting her head with my hand, even though I'm not her biological mother. Absolutely crazy. The craziest thing in the world.

"Nueng, your mother is very beautiful. I envy you."

"I want to have a mother as beautiful as her."

"I want to be your father."

It was the voice of A-Nueng's friends. They intended for me to hear those words. But it seems like the proudest person is the cheerful kid who can't stop smiling. Usually, the kid would talk non-stop when she was with me. But today, as we walked home from school, she was very quiet. So quiet that I had to glance at her.

"You're acting strange today. Why are you silent?"

"I want you to be happy too, so I don't talk. I know you're annoyed if I talk non-stop."

"Ahh. So you knew, but you did it anyway."

"I liked that you were frustrated because I felt like you showed your human side at that time. But I will be a good girl today. I will be quiet. But I will stick to you like gum."

"Showing my human side, that sounds weird."

I twisted my face, but I seemed to understand exactly what the kid wanted to say.

"By the way, I went as your mother today. Should I go as your dad on Father's Day too?"

"Wow. You'll do it? Great. I can show off mom and my father, both in one body. If there's Husband's Day, I'll drag you there too. You can be everything to me."

She is very imaginative. Husband's Day? I rolled my tongue a bit and got on the bus to go back to my room before going out to the market in the evening. A-Nueng did as she said. She stuck to me like gum. She continued smiling like a fool. But that's good. This kid has a beautiful smile. This makes the world a lively place.

"You're peeking at me again."

"What?"

I looked out the bus window awkwardly after being caught.

"I'm just looking at your thick glasses."

"I told you that I was born prematurely. Do you know why? I'll just tell you. It's a big secret. I never thought about telling anyone."

"I don't want to know."

"But you wonder why my glasses are so thick. I have made up my mind, so please listen. Ask me."

"So you want me to listen or ask?"

"Ask me why I'm near-sighted."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Didn't she say she would be quiet? I have a headache again.

"Why are you near-sighted?"

"That's because my mother tried to have an abortion."

"How can that make you myopic?"

"I wasn't fully developed when I was born."

The notice was delivered in an interesting tone that was out of place considering the subject matter. I slowly turned my head to look at the petite girl, who was smiling broadly. Surprised. When A-Nueng saw how surprised I was, she laughed.

"What is it? Why do you look like that?"

"I'm surprised you're still smiling."

"That's the past. I don't see any point in being sad about it. My mother did something to try to get rid of me, but I was stubborn. And my mother was actually afraid of killing me, so she rushed to tell my grandmother. That's why they arrived at the hospital on time, and this is what happened. I was nearsighted -8.0 diopters due to my premature birth."

I'm still very surprised. In my head, I tried to imagine whether I would still be able to smile if I knew my mother tried to kill to me. But from what I see, A-Nueng doesn't seem to be making any effort. Does she really not care, as she claims?

"If your mother didn't really want to lose you, then why would she try to get rid of you?"

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