my lily pad

chapter 17 - Lilly

--
"nobody gets me, like you"
nobody gets me, sza
--
The room is quiet, and it's just Aiden and me, lying side by side, lost in the glow of his phone as we scroll through TikToks. I feel like I could stay here forever, wrapped up in his hoodie with my head on his shoulder. The world outside his room feels miles away, and that nagging weight of home, the shouts, the demands, the expectations, it's all dulled by the warmth of his presence.

He's laughing at something, his face lit up, his voice so carefree and genuine that it makes me smile just to hear it. I don't even catch what the video is about; I'm just watching him. I wish I could hit pause on everything right here. Just us, in this safe, quiet moment. Nothing causing us ant hurt.

But no matter how much I try to push it away, reality tugs at the edge of my mind. My parents have probably been blowing up my phone, and I already know what's waiting for me when I get home. I picture them in the kitchen, already angry, voices rising, blaming me for staying out, questioning why I'd want to be anywhere but home. The guilt twists in my stomach, but I force myself to ignore it. Just a little longer. I can't go back there just yet.

I glance up at Aiden, trying not to let my face show what I'm feeling. But he's looking at me, catching me off guard, and I can see something change in his eyes as he studies my face.

"What's up?" he asks, his voice gentle. But I have a feeling he already knows.

"Nothing," I lie, looking away. But my voice is too soft, too shaky to be convincing.

He doesn't press me, just holds me a little closer, his arm around my shoulder as we lie there in the quiet. I focus on the warmth of his arm around me, on the steady, grounding beat of his heart against my shoulder. Here, wrapped up in him, I can pretend for a little longer that everything is okay.

"I should probably go soon," I say, barely meaning it. I know what's waiting for me, but being here, with Aiden, feels like the safest thing in the world.

He doesn't loosen his hold on me. Instead, he tilts his head, catching my gaze with a small, quiet smile. "Or...you could stay?" he suggests, like it's the simplest solution in the world.

For a second, his words make the knot in my stomach relax. I want to stay. I want to forget about the mess at home and just be here, with him. The guilt starts creeping back, but his hand in mine feels like a reminder—a reminder that, maybe, I'm allowed to stay. At least for tonight.

"Are you sure?" I ask, my voice almost a whisper.

He gives a small shrug, a grin creeping onto his face. "If I wasn't, I wouldn't have asked," he teases, his eyes soft as he looks at me. His hand running gentle circles across my shoulder.

I feel my consciousness breaking, the thoughts of home fading into the background as I settle deeper into the warmth of his embrace. My head finds a spot on his chest, his heartbeat a soothing rhythm that lulls me into a kind of peace I haven't felt in a long time. Aiden shifts a bit, wrapping the blanket around us, and I let myself relax, soaking in every moment of comfort he offers. Until I'm practically asleep.

We scroll through a few more videos, laughing softly, and I feel the stress slipping away and the tiredness and warmth creeping in. But as much as I want to stay lost in this moment, the doubts creep in, questions swirling in my mind. I try to push them away, but it's like they're clawing at me, refusing to let me just be happy. Aiden's hand brushes against mine, and I close my eyes, feeling the weight of all those worries lessening.

Time feels strange here, wrapped up in this cozy little world we've created. I lose track of how many videos we've watched or how long we've been lying here together. Eventually, my eyelids grow heavy, the day's exhaustion catching up with me.

Just as I start to drift off, Aiden shifts slightly, pulling me closer. His breath brushes against my hair, and I feel a small smile on my lips. Being this close, I can smell his cologne, faint but familiar, grounding me in the here and now. I could stay like this forever, hidden away in this safe space, shielded from everything that waits for me beyond his room.

"Aiden," I whisper, my voice breaking the stillness. I'm not sure what I'm going to say, but the words are there, wanting to come out.

He hums softly, his hand brushing against my shoulder. "What's up?"

I pause, my heart pounding. It's on the tip of my tongue—to tell him everything, to unload all the fear and pain I've been carrying. But then, I stop. How could I tell him? How could I make him understand without pulling him into the mess that is my life?

"Nothing," I say, my voice soft. "Just...thanks for being here."

He chuckles softly, the sound comforting. "You don't have to thank me for that, Lils." His words are simple, but they carry a weight that makes my chest tighten.

I nod, resting my head back on his chest, letting the steady rhythm of his breathing calm my thoughts. I don't need to say anything else. In this moment, with his arm around me, his heart beating close to mine, I feel like maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

I close my eyes, breathing him in, and let myself drift off, the world fading away as I sink into the warmth of Aiden's embrace.