My Little Obsession

05

The bell rang as Meena tucked her books into her frayed backpack, humming a tune she'd made up on the walk to school that morning. She glanced around at her classmates, some already wrapped in after-school plans, while she planned her own evening: dance practice, where she could lose herself for a little while. Her mother would be at work, and with the small space to herself, Meena could forget the weight of her reality and feel lighter.

As she walked out, her "friends" appeared by her side, practically boxing her in. There was Lynn, with her sharp smile and even sharper tongue, who liked to joke that Meena was her "genius bestie." In truth, Lynn only paid attention when there was a test around the corner. Then there was Thae, always ready to sweet-talk people into getting her way. And finally, Pim, who seemed to be wherever the loudest people were, mimicking their opinions like an echo. Meena loved them for their laughter and chatter, but deep down, she sometimes wondered if they loved her back the same way.

— Meena! — Lynn looped her arm through Meena's, her voice dripping with mock sweetness. — We're going to hit a party tonight, and you have to come!

Meena's heart sank. Parties weren't really her thing; they were noisy and full of people she didn't know. Besides, her mother had warned her about such things. Meena knew her mother meant well, that she wanted to keep her daughter safe, especially since she was so often alone at home. But her friends were relentless.

— Oh, I don't know, guys...— Meena hesitated, clutching her bag straps a little tighter. — I'm not sure my mom would be okay with it.

— Come on, Meena. — Wara chimed in, rolling her eyes. — You can't live in that bubble forever. You're smart, you know that, right? Smart people have fun too.

Pim nodded vigorously. — Besides, you can help us with our history assignment afterward. It's a win-win!

Meena bit her lip. It was true, she was the one who always helped with assignments. She loved to learn and dreamed of a future where she could escape the cramped house she shared with her mother, maybe even buy a nice place and have a dog or a cat.

What Meena fail to see is that her friends, though, didn't seem to think of school the same way. They saw her as their personal encyclopedia, a ticket to easy grades.

— Well... maybe just for a little bit. — She finally relented. The words slipped out before she'd even made up her mind.

Lynn cheered, looping her arm tighter through Meena's. — That's my girl! We'll swing by to get you later. And don't worry about what to wear, we'll fix you up.

Her heart felt heavy as she walked home, thinking about the last time she'd gone somewhere with them. They'd ended up at a café she couldn't afford, and when the bill came, they'd all mysteriously "forgotten" their wallets. Meena had spent her last few baht covering them, feeling too embarrassed to say she barely had enough money left for food that week.

When she got home, she glanced around the living room, its smallness familiar but comforting. Her mother wouldn't be back for hours, and in the meantime, she could escape for a little while. She turned on the radio, a song with a steady beat playing through its crackling speakers, and began to dance. Her movements were free, an expression of everything she felt but couldn't say. She spun, her mind at ease for just a little while.

After a few minutes, she paused, catching her breath and watching her reflection in the window. Dancing always reminded her of a dream she'd carried since she was little—to perform in front of people, to make them feel something. Maybe one day, she thought. For now, she could only savor these moments alone.

Later that evening, as she stood in front of the mirror, she heard Lynn and Wara calling up to her from the street. She glanced back at her room, wishing she could just stay home. But something pulled her outside - the wish to feel like she belonged, if only for a while.