Show Me

Anthony and Ian both have feelings for eachother. They are becoming slowly sick of the other 'not reciprocating these feelings'. Ian is getting hate and taking it all to heart and he is hurting. Anthony is debating telling Ian. Which incident is going to occur first and what will be the consequence. (Rated PG-13 for later chapters)

TRIGGERS: NONE REALLY FOR THIS CHAPTER.

ANTHONY’S POV

The episode was going quite well – Anthony definitely thought that the fans would be in stitches watching the Smosh Games crew failing at Just Dance 2 in this Game Bang. He was enjoying himself a whole lot. That was until he realised that he and Ian had the two lowest scores and would consequently have to dance a flirty duet together.

Anthony had always sort of had a crush on Ian. Ian’s sense of humour always made Anthony smile and his jokes often made him laugh out loud. Ian was hardly unattractive either. He had the most striking of cerulean eyes that Anthony liked more than he would care to admit. His bowl haircut (though somewhat stupid) suited Ian perfectly and was so soft that sometimes he would add a touch of it into a script just for his own personal gain. Saying this, Anthony was still happy to just be Ian’s best friend – for the most part, until they had to do something somewhat intimate.

Granted they always joked round and made so many obscene acts in videos and in blooper videos, but Anthony fought hard to keep up his smile and his laugh. What you don’t see is that when the cameras stop rolling Anthony is a little bit reserved after filming a close scene with Ian. For the first few times, Ian was worried about him but Anthony kept blocking him out – for obvious reasons – and so Ian took it as tiredness and hasn’t brought it up since. This didn’t end well for Anthony. He wanted closure, one way or another, from his crush and with Ian no longer bringing it up – that was not likely to happen.

So, with all of that well and truly in mind, Anthony was dreading doing this One Direction duet with Ian.  The duet was fine and Anthony played it cool and played it very very camp. He loved the small touches he got to share with Ian but upon hearing Ian complain about it, his smile faltered for a second. In the end the couple on the screen span into eachother for a kiss and Anthony jokingly and melodramatically mimicked these actions. As soon as Ian registered that he and Anthony were only inches apart his faced flashed an unusual surprise and then quickly he recoiled in horror and ran out screaming “Fuck my life!”

Anthony just wanted to fall to the ground and cry. Even though it seemed like a fairly obvious joke – the words still dug deep into Anthony because even Ian’s onscreen jokes showed no interest what so ever. Without realizing the damage he was doing, Ian said those things. This hit home for Anthony that Ian would never truly like him if he doesn’t even see the possibility. Anthony knew that his sadness and his crush could ruin Smosh if Ian found out – so he did the only natural thing and carried on acting until the episode was shot and over (thankfully that was only a short while). He then decided to text Kalel.

Kalel is Anthony’s girlfriend and Anthony really did have feelings for her – but ever since he had admitted to himself that he had a crush of Ian, their initial spark had been lost. Kalel was feeling this too because she was more insistent on them spending time together so as not to lose him. Anthony decided that if his feelings for Ian seemed to be persisting then he would organise a meet up between him and Kalel to talk about ending their relationship. It did pain Anthony to think this, but he felt that in the long run it may just work out to be the best decision for them both.

Now Anthony’s only worry was Ian.

IAN’S POV

Once Ian had run outside of the Smosh Games room he laughed a little at his own over the top acting. In all honesty – he probably would have kissed Anthony. That’s why he was shocked when they were so close together, because he realised he could have probably pulled it off as a joke if he had just closed the gap between them and kissed him. But Ian decided to remain in character and run off. The negative thing about having such a good relationship with your best friend, where acting gay and flirting is the norm, is that possibility of your feelings escalating. This makes the touching, flirting and acting so hard to keep under control. This exact thing had happened to Ian – he had developed a hard crush on Anthony. However, Ian was somewhat a professional and he had so far not acted on his feelings towards Anthony. He didn’t want to compromise their friendship, Anthony’s relationship with Kalel or the entirety of their Smosh fan base. Ian sighed and waited for the Game Bang shoot to end before he plastered his best grin onto his face and walked back into the room to laugh with his friends – however, he made the mistake of slightly avoiding Anthony.

---Time Lapse---

4 hours after the latest Game Bang was uploaded, Ian was scrolling through the comments to see what people were thinking. Ian was pleased with the positive feedback from their fans. But suddenly a group of comments all written in capital letters caught Ian’s eye. Upon reading them, a heavy lump formed in the back of Ian’s throat. They were all horrible and offensive comments about the video – but to his horror – more specifically about him.

‘Ian is so fat, he SERIOUSLY needs to do some MORE OF THIS DANCING XD NOT EVEN JOKING XD’

‘IAN GET OUT OF THE SHOT I’M TRYING TO LOOK AT ANTHONY’

‘Ian is so fat, why does he lift his top up and show us his fat – HE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF A BODY LIKE THAT – I know I would be!!’

Words had always hurt Ian, ever since he was told the same things (perhaps toned down) to his face when he was younger and in school. He was told by his parents to ignore it – and he could. He could ignore it because he felt like he had the strength of their love to believe otherwise. But now, when the issue resurfaced there was a massive difference. No-one truly loved Ian. Sure his Mom was still around but he felt childish to talk about bullies with her at his age, and besides, mothers don’t call you handsome or beautiful and really mean it when you’re in your mid-twenties. What he was missing was a partner, a lover, to tell him that he was that he was beautiful, special and that he was loved. But Ian didn’t have that – because the only person that Ian felt he could ever believe that from was Anthony.

Ian would only believe these words if someone he loved who knew him like no other could say them back.

Hypothetically, of course – because Anthony was straight, hot, funny, so much better than Ian and more importantly – he was with Kalel. Anthony would never like – let alone love – Ian in a million years.

Ian sighed and closed the YouTube tag on his laptop. He wondered if he was making this all up – he knew Anthony was the hotter one, but did that fans agree with him? He lay and contemplated this thought before curiosity overcame him and he opened up Tumblr. He tentatively typed his name ‘Ian Hecox’ into the tag search bar and the dry lump re-formed in his throat – bigger.

Before his eyes he saw tagged pictures of him with the captions of ‘Ugh, Ian is so fucking ugly’. Below that he saw pictures of him and Anthony with crosses through his face with evil words grimacing at him from that caption that read ‘I only watch Smosh for Anthony – Ian is a fat and ugly dumbass’ Ian knew he needed to look away but his eyes scanned the page and proceeded to well up as each comment got more harsh and the likes overwhelmed him.

‘Everyone knows that Anthony is the only one with promise in Smosh’

‘I’d enjoy Smosh better if Ian wasn’t there – Anthony probably would too’

‘Ian, go and kill yourself please, you’re ruining Anthony and Smosh’

Ian was crying now. Each defaced picture was a slap around his face and each word made a tear fall from his eyes. But still he kept on reading – the dark comments escalated and everywhere he looked the comments were telling him to die and just to leave. Ian choked out a sob as he managed to finally tear his eyes from his screen. Remembering the time was 1 am, Ian cursed as he heard Anthony stir from his room across the hall. He blindly pressed the ‘x’ button to close the internet and dived into his bed before hearing Anthony’s curious knock on his door. He laid there, tears still streaming onto his pillow with his heart hammering in his chest as Anthony gingerly opened the door to his best friend’s room. He looked over at the laptop and saw Ian’s desktop background – it was a picture of Ian and him. He smiled to himself, nodded and took one last, long, lingering look at the boy lying before him before closing the door back up and rushing off to send a text to Kalel.

Ian let out one final shaky breath once the coast was clear and fell slowly into an uncomfortable sleep with the comments he had read still floating around in his head and plaguing his thoughts.