I can feel death as tangibly as I feel the snapping of fallen branches beneath my feet and the pokes of pine needles along my arms as I shove through them. I can identify it as easily as I can the rumble rolling deep in my stomach signaling hunger.
I'd ditched lunch before I had a chance to really tuck into my meal. Completely missed breakfast, slept right through it... And dinner last night, too. It'd taken a few days to sleep off the aches of my last session with professor Vitori, having been the most physically intensive one-on-one I've experienced. I'd woken up a few times for nibbles of peanut butter crackers and sips from a glass of water Romy had left beside my bed, but anything more than the slight shift of my head left me dizzy and spinning back into unconsciousness.
A growl rolls through my abdomen, the tender, neglected organ threatening to invert any second if I don't find sustenance soon. As if the forces are shining down upon me, I come face to face with a thimbleberry bramble growing wildly, uninhibited across the walking path, beams of sunlight peaking through and bathing the limbs of reaching thorn branches in brilliant golden light. Ripe red berries glimmer like a beacon in the desert, except when I stumble headlong into the scratchy green leaves the mirage doesn't waver. I pluck a handful, stuffing the pile safely into the front pouch of my hoodie and load up some more into my palm. Munching on a few as I pick, tossing the rotted, unappetizing berries down for small creatures to forage off the forest floor because as much as I respect death, I also value life in every shape and size it comes.
Snacks secure, I follow a trail of tainted air deeper into the trees.
I wouldn't consider the scent of death unpleasant, just pungent. Enough to alarm me of it's presence, but it lacks that putrid quality a normal human might describe. The tiniest bit of decay filters up from the dirt, but it marries nicely with the fresh scent of clean oxygen emitting from the towering trunks around me. Mostly, it just smells like nature, the good and the bad mixed so harmoniously it's hard to decipher one from the other. It smells of dense soil; loamy and soothing, warm in a philosophical sense. Refreshing like a spring shower; as crisp as the sharpness of a cold breath, sucking the shape from your lungs until they're as wrinkled and puckered as a raisin, but with a sweet release as they expand again.
A stench that, to anyone else, doesn't border this thin line between intriguing and off-putting. A scent that the human body can't quite desensitize itself to.
Except for me, I love it. I track it deeper into the wood until all I see are blurs of brown and green and the rust color of dead pine needles every direction I turn.
The odor condenses the closer to it I draw until it's a fog I'm physically wading through. Until I burst out the other side, stumbling over the small lump that remains of what could have been a rabbit (maybe? Or a squirrel?), deep in the stages of decomposition, so picked apart only skinned bone and tufts of fur are left; and coincidentally, the source of the smell I'd been tracing.
A few yards further into the glen, I find a petite little frame that chases me in my dreams crouched over the neck of a fresh Elk carcass... no, not a carcass, but a living, breathing donor that wiggles it's way free from delicate hands as she lets it go. Only two small trails of blood coat it's fur, congealing from pinpricks in it's skin. It gallops, if that's what you'd call a seven hundred pound animal dazedly swaying and stumbling from trunk to trunk until it falls flat on it's belly. The Elk lands with it's legs stick straight in four different directions, almost spread eagle and Blair giggles, a light tinkling sound that simply seems to belong here in this little magical bubble in the forest. My attention finally tracks back to her once I notice the bulbous sides of the Elk's body start to swell and deflate slowly as it...snores?
"So, you don't kill people." I murmur, afraid to wake the sleeping beast. I know if a vampire had just feasted on my blood, I'd probably wake up pretty pissed off, too.
"Nope," she says simply, wiping the deep red smears of blood from her lips on the back of her hand.
"And you don't kill animals?"
"Not anymore, I'm pretty good at controlling myself now. At least..." Her violet eyes flicker down to my arm, still bandaged beneath the sleeve of my jacket with the perfect crescent shape of her bite embedded in my skin. "Most of the time," she finishes with an impatient huff. "Look, I'm sorry Noah. It's no excuse, but I missed breakfast that morning and I had been hunting behind the cemetery when you flung me into that tree. I was just hungry, it'll never happen again."
Blair holds up a pinky and when I don't move closer to link mine with hers she hooks it through the air in a silent promise.
"Monsters are friends, not food." She gives me a wavering smile that wiggles self consciously at the corners.
I know in my heart of hearts, as dead or alive as it may be, that this girl is absolutely perfect in every way and that's reason enough as to why I should stay far, far away from her. I'd trusted a perfect girl once and it landed me straight in hell.
She faces away from me, giving me her back as she watches the animal sleep for a few quiet moments, and I can see the perfect porcelain skin of her shoulder blades, the soft curve of her spine disappearing beneath tatters of a school issued sweater and the tank top she has on beneath it.
"What happened," I wonder, tempted to reach out and touch the smooth, unmarred skin.
"Well, I provoked a hot headed wolf and then I crash landed on a cliff about forty feet in the air." Blair admits, turning away with a shy little quirk of her plump, pink lips. It's a tough battle with the grin that tugs at my own.
"Why did you do that, by the way? Roman stepped in today as a favor to me, but I wouldn't go tempting your luck like that again. They could have attacked you. They wanted to. That female you fought, that was the beta's mate. If it weren't for Roman calling him off, he would have shredded you to pieces."
"You know, Noah, this might come as a shock to you, but I can handle myself. I didn't need him stepping in and I definitely don't need you pulling in any favors for me."
She huffs, but it doesn't hold the kind of heat I think she intends it to. The toe of her sneaker, covered in cute little sharpie doodles, taps furiously against the grass and her small fists ball on her flared hips. I couldn't imagine her going up against a fully grown male wolf, and a Beta at that... The thought makes me cringe.
"I'm not doubting you, you little killer," totally am, but if she scents the lie, she doesn't show it. "I'm just curious why little timid Blair who keeps to herself like a good girl felt the need to kick that girl's ass completely unprovoked?"
"It wasn't unprovoked." Her head cocks sweetly to the side, her ponytail tumbling over her shoulder, the long chestnut tresses curl down to her waist. "Her boyfriend was a dick. I'm sick of everyone treating me like trash they can just step all over. And that goes for you too." I'm mesmerized by the way the long stands of her hair bounces as she lays into me. "My heart might not beat, but it still feels stuff. I have feelings, Noah, ever heard of them?"
"I've heard a lot of things," I murmur, but I'm caught on the slop of her neck, where I could just...
The snap of a twig startles me back to reality. The reality where I'm standing in the middle of the forest with Blair Carmichael and not even fifteen feet away a giant beast stirs back to life, having taken a much needed nap. We watch as it awkwardly lifts up on shaky legs and stomps out the residual sleepiness from it's bones before taking off, disappearing out of sight behind an outcropping of boulders.
"We should head back," I say, "It's going to take ages to make it back on school grounds and I'm starving. I don't want to miss dinner again."
The rumble low in my gut reminds me of the berries I stashed in my jacket pocket. I cup them in my hand inspecting them for any pieces of fuzz and when I decide they're clean enough, I toss two in my mouth and offer her some. She hesitantly takes them, cautiously chewing the first few before she decides they must be safe.
"I could just scoop you up in my arms and run you back to campus. It'd take like five minutes." Blair smirks, gathering up more of my berries before I can tip the rest back in one final bite. "I'll need the sustenance and don't you worry, Coach Tilo says my fireman throw has really improved. I only dropped him once yesterday, but c'mon have you seen that guy? He's a tank on legs."
"Okay, listen here, you little pint sized bag of bones, if you even try to pick me up, I'll sic every dead body from here to California on you. It'll be like the next season of the Walking Dead, it'll practically write itself, mark my words, Blair Carmichael."
"I AM dead," she deadpans, swatting my shoulder.
Seeing as how she'd launched a wolf half the length of a football field just a few hours ago, I can tell she'd tempered the hit. I'd compare it to being sucker punched by an infant, the way her knuckles gently pat my arm, if I concentrate really hard, I might have actually felt it. I tell her as much and that lands me a clean blow that she really winds back for. The hit sends me crashing sidelong into the thick trunk of a pine tree, bouncing off and stumbling back across the uneven path into another.
Blair, the little minx, prances along ahead of me, adjusting the exposed strap of her bra where it had twisted over on itself several times. Not a worry in the world, munching on my berries. If I'm not mistaken, I think there might even be a slight skip in her step. I can't be totally sure considering I just had my teeth rattled loose from their roots by a five foot tall demon in a mini-skirt.
Whoever said the Devil wears Prada, obviously hadn't met Blair Carmichael.
I hurry after her, afraid she might get some crazy notion that she actually has the upper hand here.
As I gain ground on her, reaching out with the power that courses through my body like an endless circuit of energy, I test the soil in a small radius around her as she walks. When she shifts, so do the probing tendrils, searching until they hit that familiar rebuttal of a creature who's long since passed and desperate to be left alone. I give the buried bones a sharp tug, my mind willing them awake until the skeletal head of a snake peaks out from the earth, all four fangs still intact and sharped to needle-like points, bared to strike her calf as she passes by. I coax the animal from the mound of dirt until it's entire length of vertebrae is coiled like a rope and ready to lunge, it's head shimmies from side to side, each bulb of it's rattler shaking like a maraca, the bones tinkling together as it attempts a hollowed out hiss in warning.
But, I don't need it to maim her; just sending a message, fighting fire with combustible fuel.
My hands fly out in front of me, unleashing a gust of sheer power that rips leaves from their branches and sends stones tumbling past in a land slide. Carried by the wind, the skeletal remains of a very pissed off snake is thrust in Blair's direction wrapping like a cinch around her ankles until she tips forward and crumbles to the dirt. A snicker escapes me as I bolt past her, leaving her tangled in a heap at the bottom of a steep decline in the mountain.
When she finally limps her way down to me, another thirty yards past the spot where she landed, she'd all but shed the snake, leaving a trail of bones marking her descent. The last of the creature, it's skull, hooked by it's fang on the laces of her shoe, goes sailing past my head as she kicks it free. It shatters into tiny pieces against the rock wall jutting up and at an angle to our left.
I summon every last ounce of power into reassembling that snake, piece by fragile piece until it's whole again and slithering back into the dirt.
"Cool party trick," Blair huffs, flipping me the bird as she stomps past me.
Something about the way she glares at me as she passes sends a shiver down my spine. I kind of liked that.
But actually, fuck me... because no way in Hell do I like anything about that girl. She's a menace and a big fuck you to my whole identity.
Mostly because I want to and partly because I know it won't work, my mind reaches out for a swipe on her retreating back. I want to control her for just a second, just long enough to bring her to her knees and prove a point. That I can.
The second my energy touches hers, I feel it begin to suck me in. Where as most dead things would simply repel against me until they couldn't possibly hold me back any longer, she invites me in, drawing my body closer and closer to hers until I'm drunk on the proximity. Until our particles are so mixed up all I can do is fade into her.
Into Blair.
No more Noah, just Blair.
And it hurts, the sting that lights up my cheek as it melds into the crook of her neck. As I fall deeper and deeper and deeper, until...
Crack.
That rattles my brain.
And I'm seeing stars that morph into blue and green blobs with squiggles of brown.
"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. You fainted." A winded Blair stands over me, her perfectly sculpted brows drawn together in a frown as she looks me over.
I'm sprawled on a patch of soft grass, that's actually the sloping front lawn of the school.
We must have teleported.
I didn't know I could do that, but that's the only explanation I'll choose to accept.
She tramples over my ego like a bull in a china shop in the next breath, "I had to carry you all the way back here. You were out cold, you feeling okay?"
I blink up at her. Wondering if I'd rather just bury myself alive right now or stare up at her pretty face for a few more seconds.
"Noah? I'll go get the nurse. You hang tight."
That spurs me into action. "What? No," I push past her, sitting up and rubbing my eyes until the ground settles and I'm not spinning anymore. "I over did it and I haven't eaten much in the last few days. I'm fine, I just need dinner."
For the second time today, fate was on my side. The bell signaling the evening meal chimes over head.
We both offer subtle goodbyes after she insists on walking me all the way to the dining hall and accompanying me through the line. She goes one way with a plate piled high with an assortment of fruit and desserts, I go the other with a tray full of everything I could fit on it and the intention of eating every crumb.
Blair sits alone, the room giving her a wide berth after the debacle at lunch, but I watch her from my seat situated between Romy and Pricilla, his baby sister. She looks up to catch my eye a few times, but otherwise pays me no attention.
We're back to coexisting on two separate planets in two opposite universes.
"Any plans tonight?" Romy asks between bites as he shovels them in.
Rivulets of water drip from his perfectly symmetrical hairline. Clumps of his normally sleek black hair are plastered like spiderwebbing across his overly massive shoulders... That he unintentionally flexes with each raise of the fork to his mouth.
Who even needs arms that big? And just to display them like some hussy, with his sleeveless tshirt that's been stretched nearly to the hem so it shows off some wolf pec side-boob.
If there's one thing my childhood best friend excels at more than lateral raises, it's deducing my big headed ass to zero. And he does so, so fortuitously, so effortlessly with this lackadaisical, far out look on his face while he does it. Just always so damn happy. Exactly like a Labrador, now that I think about it.
His bronze cheeks are still tinged a deep shade of red after his evening workout and he uses a cool towel wrapped around his neck to scrub at his damp face.
"Hello, earth to you, douchebag. You feeling alright? You seem spacey." Romy snaps his finger with one hand while simultaneously stabbing his next bite with the silverware fisted in the other.
"Sorry, what's up?" I blink free some of the fog I hadn't realized was starting to curl it's way into my brain. Some of the residual side effects of fainting. Probaby. I wouldn't know, I've never actually fainted before today.
Something about the way Blair's and my energies almost melting together, instead of clashing the way I'd expected them to. The way she seemed to swallow me into unconsciousness, but how? How had she done that?
Or maybe I simply fainted after days of recovery from what felt like the spacetime continuum roundhouse kicking me in the ass and not enough food to help fuel my body through the healing process.
So, it's easy to decide on a solid plan for my Friday evening. Sleep. Sleep. And more sleep. Professors Vitori's number one rule: Rest is fuel for the soul. Without a doubt, I believe him.
"Movie night, I'll paint your nails." I offer, eyes dead on Roman. He's about to tell me off, but I bat an elaborate wink to my left at Priscilla. "What do you say, baby girl?"
She pretends to gag into her backpack and Roman knocks his tree trunk for an arm into me.
"Keep dreaming, she knows she's too good for you," he cackles, a deep boisterous laugh that vibrates off the stone over the racket of a busy dining hall. Filling a room is yet another hidden talent of his.
"You are too good for me," I croon to Priscilla, munching buoyantly on a french fry, I can practically feel the calories lightening my mood. "Nah, man, it's the hay for me after we finish up here. Lots of studying to do this weekend. I need to get my sleep in now while I still can."
"You're actually super lame, I don't know why I still hang out with you." Roman concludes, tucking into a medium rare steak. It's perfectly charred on the outside, but red juice spills from the meat as he carves off a thick slice and pops it into his mouth whole.
It's the quality for me, I marvel over his plate. Piled high with protein, no doubt he'll sneak in another run through the forest bordering the school grounds before bed and need the extra energy.
"Because no one else likes you enough."
