Ramni

Ramani Part 1

Once upon a time Ramu and Ramni a humble couple lived in a remote village. They were born in that village and married young. Ramu was a traditional mason and the Ramni his helper. They greeted every one warmly. Offered buttermilk to whoever came to their 'kuccha' house and told stories about their lordly ancestors.

Their village had a school but without skill development courses. The village had hardly any economic opportunities. Many families had goats and sheep, few had farmland but majority had none. Ramu and Ramni were part of that majority.

As and when any family wanted to build, repair or upgrade their goat and sheep sheds they contacted Ramu and Ramni. As and when the rich of the village wanted to extend, repair or improve their houses they called the most reliable Ramu and Ramni. Sometimes some farmers also called Ramu & Ramni during harvest season for reaping pulses.

The village was clean but with inadequate pasture land and very few trees. It generally had fresh air but there were dust storms too. Its night sky was bright but there was no electricity. It had adequate food but acute water shortage. The rainy season was very short and when it rained the water rushed off its undulating arid terrain.

An NGO (Non-Government Organization) had started a rainwater-harvesting project there. To stop rainwater from rushing off its rocky terrain it was getting embankments built. At present Ramu and Ramni were daily wageworkers there.

Ramu and Ramni had four daughters, all married in far off villages. After a long gap the couple was expecting their 5th child. They hoped and prayed that time it was a son. They had wanted a son for a long time. In that want they had their third and fourth daughters.

Ramu was the birthing partner of Ramni. They could not afford a mid-wife and Ramu knew when and how to relax her tight muscles with warm water, cut the umbilical cord and clean the baby.

On that fateful morning Ramu and Ramni had pleaded to their god that Ramni gave birth to a baby boy. Soon her labor pains started. It went on for 18 hours. Ramni was fatigued and breathless. Ramu prayed silently, rubbed Ramni' feet, helped her take sips of water and fed her deseed dates he had brought the previous evening.

After the prolonged labor finally their child came into this world due to Ramni's natural foetal ejection reflex. Ramu gently took the baby in his hands hoping it to be a boy.

Ramu was disappointed. The baby was a girl. Birth of another girl! He did not know how to tell his fatigued wife. He simply hugged his wife and cried.

Raising and marrying four daughters had already brought them to the edge of poverty. Even their everyday living was difficult. They had hoped the 5th child to be a boy to take their family name forward, grow up to be an asset to them, looked after them when they grew old and feeble.

They were angry with their gods. Ramu inferred that the gods cheated them. He did not wish to accept that cheating. He had to return the baby girl to gods. The only way forward was to leave the newborn at god's feet and he did just that.

Ramu wrapped the new born around his chest with a sheet, and cycled to the nearest town. The first temple he came across was a Mahavir Temple. The Sanctum Sanctorum( Garbhagriha) was open, it was calm all around, some pilgrims were sleeping here and there. Ramu tip-toed into the temple, left the sleeping baby girl at the footsteps of the gods and cycled back. He felt relieved that he could do what he wanted without any hindrance.

When he reached home Ramni was in slumber. He quietly left for work.

Ramni was in slumber as the fatigue had over powered her but she could not rest for long. Her breasts felt heavy she thought of her new born. She wanted to feed the new born but there was no new born. She remembered Ramu hugging her, crying and telling her that he was going to return the new born girl to God. All commotions and emotions going inside her made her restless. She was full of remorse. She was missing her little baby. She remembered her wailing when Ramu was wrapping her around his chest. Ramni could not forget her high-pitched crying, excessively drooling little mouth and her yearning big expressive eyes. She was feeling guilty that when the newborn needed her most Ramni had not protected her. She had not even cradled her once. Would she have allowed Ramu to pick the newborn from her side if he had laid her there? Would she have allowed it if she was a little less fatigued and weak?

That morning Ramu had no strength to work. He was exhausted both physically and mentally.

He could not forget the tremors of his daughter, when he took her off his warm chest and kept her on the hard stone floor. He kept cursing himself for leaving a delicate vulnerable new life all alone exposed to the vagaries of nature. He could not understand as to why he had discarded his girl child. He recalled the tradition of his Lordly ancestors of planting 5 or 10 trees on the birth of a girl child. He recalled how he talked about his Lordly ancestors all the time. Why did he not follow them practically? Was it because of bad in-laws of his married daughters? Was it because of his poverty? Was he just a weak man? Why else would he discard the newborn at a time when no one would see him?

He cried for the cruelty he had committed. He prayed for forgiveness. He peddled hard and long and stopped only when he reached the temple. It had been 3 hours since he had left his daughter there. Would she still be there? He did not know?

He could hear the priest singing: I have no message from heaven rather I am on earth to make it heaven.

'Sandesh nahi mai yaha swarg ka laya. Es' darti ko hi swarg bananay aaya'.

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