The golden era wasn't filled with the triumph and success that was promised to Filipinos at the time. It was a golden façade hiding a gruesome system meant to limit people's mobility and restrict their rights to freedom, to simply live as they desired. Proclamation No. 1081 failed in its purpose to protect people from the harms of terrorist groups; it became the harm itself. It brought terror and instilled fear in many, taking the lives of a few. 70,000 people were imprisoned, 34,000 tortured, and 3,200 were killed. This was the reality that Filipinos lived and endured for years, and as each day passed, it left permanent cuts on them—wounds that, to this day, continue to bleed.
On top of this fascist system that took innocent lives, it also destroyed the lives of people in the LGBTQIA+ community, who faced constant oppression and harassment. It not only limited how they lived their lives, but it also cast a border and placed limits on how they loved. Their hidden love and admiration for each other shone brighter than the stars in the night sky—the stars witnessed everything, including how pure their love was, and how it broke them that even love had to be concealed.
Not Even The Brightest Star is my love letter to everyone who fought for freedom and justice. To those who paved the way for the freedom we are enjoying right now. To the victims who died and the lovers who grieved so that we can love freely today, without limitations.
A piece of myself also went into this book. I struggled to write it because I had to reminisce on every moment I spent with him and my state of being during that time. To my former lover Theo, thank you for being my brightest star during the darkest of days. You'll always have a special place in my heart. You were my first, and forgive me if you won’t be my last. I can’t bring myself to love someone as deeply as I once loved you, and my heart still aches knowing that I’m still looking for you in every person I meet. The fate we suffered was unfortunate. It’s so unfair, especially to you. In an alternate world, you finished your studies and achieved all your dreams. In an alternate world, you’re still alive. But in the world I’m living in, you aren’t.
Rest in peace, Theo. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. If I had a chance to restart my life, I’d do it all over again, to seek and love you all over again—even if it hurts, even if I’d lose you inevitably. At the very least, we lived and shared a life in this book. We were able to do everything we desired and loved each other, even if we were limited. Reality pains me more—we weren’t just limited, we were restricted.
Loving you endlessly,
Jayson
here is a playlist for you to listen to while you read: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4CQ8e2RRZ9LIdd9ELk132S?si=grxnKUoDQESesaxrV_eUtA
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Not Even The Brightest Star
Historical Fiction"I'll continue to fight for freedom because you deserve to be loved without borders and limitations." - Theo In the time of darkness depicted as the golden age, even the brightest star can be dimmed. When Jayson enrolls at the University of the Phil...
