The Suicide Circus

Cutting and Talking

She didn't get it. Ever since she started high school, Tanya had been name called, beaten, and the main subject in a few rumors. She hated it. Every ounce of it. It was at times like these that she thought to herself 'If I was born to be hated by the world, then my existence is-'

"Completely pointless," she said aloud to herself. A few tears escaped her eyes as she said this. She took few shaky breaths before getting up, going to the bathroom across the hall, and locking the door. She let a few more tears leave her eyes. She opened the medicine cabinet and lifted up bottle of cough medicine revealing a small rectangular shaped blade. She took of her converse, tutu, and her leggings. She sat on the edge of the bath tub with her legs inside. She examined the scars from her previous cuttings on her thighs. They were less then a week old.

Cutting was the only way to make to pain go away. Even if it was just for a little while.

She found a clean spot on her thigh and slid the blade across it. She winced as a small thin line of blood appeared and droplets of it fell into the bath tub. She felt her entire leg go numb, like it couldn't feel anything. Nothing could hurt her. Then it happened again.

She always promised herself that she would just do one cut. But every time that one cut turned into 3-4 cuts. She cut her skin  more times, watching the blood as it made a little puddle in the bathtub. When it was over, Tanya looked at her new cuts that would soon become new scars.

She sat there, in silence for what seemed like hours until she heard a knock at the door.

"Tanya? Are you in there?" Mom called from the other side of the door.

"Uh, ya, Mom," Tanya said, startled by her mom's call.

"Can you get started on your homework as soon as you're done? You know not to slack off,".

"Uh...," she glanced at her cuts " sure, I'll get right on it..."

"Ok, babe,". Tanya heard Mom's footstep grow fainter and fainter as she left.

Once she had left, Tanya stood up but in doing so her leg was numb causing her to stumble. She leaned on the bathroom counter for support. She slipped her leggings and tutu back on. She put the blade back under the medicine bottle and limped out of the bathroom, converse in her hand.

Once she was in her room, Tanya closed the door and collapsed onto her bed once again. She then began to cry until her sobs turned into shaky breathes.

~~~

When dinner was ready, Tanya changed out of her tights and into a pair of dark blue jeans. As she limped down the stairs, her thigh ached, begging for a rest from walking. She had to be careful not to let her parents notice her limp, so she walked straight as best as she could, which only made her muscles burn even more. Once she was a couple of feet away from the dinner table, she speed walked to her seat as quickly as possible. Dad, who was making the last of the dinner preparations noticed her strange behavior and asked "Everything ok, Sweetie?"

"Ya, Dad," she replied without any hesitation.

The smell of meatballs and noodles filled the air as Mom and Dad placed a larges plated of fresh spaghetti noodles on the table along with another plate filled with small balls of meat covered in warm tomato sauce. Mom walked back into the kitchen to get everyone's bowls and forks. Once every body had settled down in there seats, they all dug in, taking there share of one of everything the large plates had to offer.

"Tanya, aren't you gonna get something to drink?" Mom asked.

"Na, I'm not really that thirsty," Tanya replied even though she was a little thirsty. She didn't want to get up and go get her drink because her thigh would hurt even more.

After a few moments off silence and chewing, Dad broke the silence by saying "So Tanya, anything happen at school today?"

"No. Nothing at all," Tanya replied before she shoved strands of spaghetti twisted around a fork in her mouth, avoiding eye contact.

Mom and Dad exchanged worried glances at each other. Then knew their little girl was lying. Something always happened at school.

"Sweetie, if something happened you can tell us. It's okay," said Mom in a kind voice.

"Mom, don't worry about it. Every things fine,"

"Tanya, you can talk-," Dad began to say but he was cut of by Tanya who was getting annoyed "I'm fine. Ok!"

A few short moments went by and Mom and Dad realized that couldn't make their daughter tell them anything, so they talked about other stuff as  the dinner went on. When it was over everyone put their dishes in the sink. Mom and Dad sat together on the couch.

As Tanya approached the stairs to go to her room, her thigh still hurt a little and she began to walk with a small limp. Dad noticed this and asked "Sweetie, are you limping?"

"No!" Tanya said quickly as she ran upstairs to her room.

~~~

Ugghhh... it's 11:30 and I just wanna sleep......

Question: Do any of you listen to My Chemical Romance? If you don't, Do. It. Now.

*Lies down on bed and yawns*

Goodnight my little wolf pups

*claps hands*

*lights turn off*