INSIDE MONSTER. THE FUGITIVE.

CHAPTER 34: I MISSED YOU. CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

Eyes bathed with tears, DooSan looked at the woman who made him suffer so much. She was also someone who brought him a lot of beautiful memories and made him madly love her, aware that she felt the same. He was sure that SolHi felt the same for him, and he knew that by looking into her eyes, which looked at him with love and regret at the same time. Even so, he couldn't understand her at all. He couldn't understand why she did what she did to him that night, in particular.

„As though we are strangers, SolHi. You broke into this house and tried to kill me as though I am one of your worst enemies. Why? Why?" The man shouted.

„It was necessary," replied SolHi drily. Even her eyes were cold when she said that. At least SolHi tried to seem like that: cold and indifferent. Yet, she was so wrong and she understood this very soon when she looked into the man's eyes where she saw misunderstanding, even if she also saw love in them. Even so, she decided that the best solution for both of them was to explain nothing to him. She told herself that if she kept silent, he would have been safe. At least she had to do that until the mission in which she'd been forcibly involved was over.

„Necessary? For who?" DooSan asked, making her wince and look into his eyes again while she looked past his shoulder by then.

„For all of us," she coldly replied. These words hurt him deep inside. Her coldness also made him confused, although he was sure that SolHi was acting at that moment. At least this was what DooSan wanted to believe at that moment: that SolHi was acting and wasn't there to hurt him.

Seeing her sketching a smile, DooSan frowned. „Are you smiling?"

„Mmm. It's all I can do for the moment, right? I mean... this is all that those sentenced to death can do because... I don't think I survive after this. Or... yes?"

„Ian SolHi!"

„What? Am I unfair to you right now?"

„Yes. You are cruel to me and I don't understand why."

„What I don't understand is what makes you think I'm unfair to you. All I've done was the same thing I've always done: hurting people."

DooSan gnashed his teeth. „The same trivial song as always, SolHi. You say the same random words to hurt me and push me away from you. Why?"

„Because... it is necessary."

„That's why you are here? Only because it is necessary?"

SolHi sketched a weird smile again. Then, looking into his eyes and flirting, she said, „Yes. Or what: did you believe that I'm here because I've missed you?"

The man suddenly winced. „Didn't you miss me?" He asked eventually in a shaking voice.

„Yes. I missed you. I won't deny that: I missed seeing your scared face while looking into my eyes, eyes you've never understood, isn't it?"

„Mmm. I haven't ever understood you, SolHi. I didn't understand what you wanted from me," he said, shaking inside. „I've never understood why you are so cruel to me when all I've done was to love you as I love you, SolHi."

DooSan's words made SolHi freeze for a few instants. She felt thousands of thrills crossing her body because this „I love you, SolHi" was told with his heart. „Something I don't deserve though," she whispered in her head, looking elsewhere again. „I don't deserve this love," she told him.

The man bitterly smiled. „You definitely don't deserve that. You don't deserve my love. But... even so, I can't control this. I can't control what I feel for you, just as I can't be cruel to you as you are to me."

„I am what I am, DooSan. I am what others want me to be... I am the person others want me to be. I'm a skillful pupil, remember? I can learn tough lessons. That's why I don't understand what's wrong with this. I'm not as perfect as you wanted me to be."