From Her Perspective (BWWM)

XXVI

Auriella Devereaux

Nine months ago

I stared at the tiny baby in the NICU incubator. I slid my hand into the gloved armhole of the box and caressed his cheek.
"I'm sorry I didn't know about you. I would've taken better care of myself," I apologized to the little boy.
I let out a breath as his vibrant green eyes fluttered open and stared back at me. There was never a doubt who his father was, but to see that he had Billy's eyes stunned me. I haven't seen him since the night after we slept together and I don't know how I'm supposed to call him up and say, 'Hey, it's me. I'm in Norway and I just had your kid on my friend's couch.' I do miss him. I more than miss him, but I know that he's happy now, and I can't ruin that for him. I also can't take what'll happen when his dad finds out. If he could convince Billy to leave me at the airport, who knows what he'll do about our baby?
"Auri," I heard my best friend gasp. I looked up to see Cleo, Leo, and Miles standing at the door. They stared at the baby with wide eyes.
"Auntie, who's baby is that?", Miles asked as he ran to me, hugging my leg.
"This is my baby. This is your cousin,"
"I can't believe this. We just saw you two months ago,"
"I know. I wish I knew I was pregnant. I never had any symptoms. I never felt a kick. I've been drinking and God, I ate sushi a month ago," I said as I ran a hand through my hair.
"Hey, you didn't know. Come here," Leo said as he pulled me into a hug.
"I know nothing about being a mom. What the hell am I going to do?"
     "Auriella, no first-time parent knows exactly what to do. We learned along with Miles. Besides, you're not alone. How much longer until William gets here?" she asked. I pulled away from Leo and looked between the two of them.
Before I could say anything, Jamie came into the room with a duffle bag. He went home an hour ago to grab me some clothes and pick up some baby supplies.
     "Uncle Jamie!" Miles exclaimed as he ran to his uncle.
     "Hey, kid," Jamison picked Miles up with one arm as he came to hug Leo and Cleo.
"You look so good, Jamison," Cleo said as she hugged him.
"I try, I try," he chuckled as he looked down at Theo.
"Have you decided on a new name?"
"I like the name I chose," I defended myself. I've decided to name him Forrest Oliver Devereaux. Billy's middle name is Oliver, so I wanted to at least share that with our son.
"You cannot name him Forrest just because you love Forrest Gump. Didn't you say earlier you were thinking of naming him after your dad?"
"Yeah, but I wasn't sure. I barely remember the guy. It feels weird for me to be the one to keep his name alive," I explained as I looked up at Leo.
"What do you mean? Do you think I'm more entitled to continue his legacy than you are?" Leo asked.
"I don't even remember the sound of his voice. When I think about him, I can only remember glimpses of his face. My only real memory is when he died and they carried his body out of the house. You've been the only father I've known,"
"Sometimes, I forget how young you were. I know you don't remember him, but you were so special to him. He spoiled you rotten before he got sick and even then you barely left his side. While I was at school, you two would spend all day in bed having tea parties, coloring, painting, and he would read all of your favorite books over and over again. You were such a Daddy's girl. He would be so honored to have your son carry his name," he said. My eyes watered as I looked down at my son.
     "Theo," I whispered. Cleo smiled as she studied his face.
     "While I would hate to ruin this moment, we need to address the French elephant in the room," Cleo said, immediately filling me with anxiety.
     "I haven't called him," I admitted.
     "Why not?" Leo asked.
     "I don't want to drop this on him. He finally got everything he wanted. He's free. Why disrupt his life?"
     "Auriella, he deserves to know his son. No matter what the two of you have going on, he deserves to have a chance of being his father,"
     "I just need some time,"

Present

     I smiled as I felt Billy staring at me. I hadn't even opened my eyes, but I could sense him.
     "You're staring," I said. I heard his chuckle before he rolled his naked body on top of me. I opened my eyes to see him smirking at me.
     "I can't help it," he said before kissing me.
     "I can get used to this. Waking up to my wife while our son is sleeping in his crib,"
     "Ex-wife," I corrected him with a smirk. He bit his lip before looking away from me.
     "I never filed the papers," he muttered. My eyes widened before letting out a laugh. He looked down at me with a smirk as I vibrated against his chest.
     "You're not upset?" he asked.
     "I'm more surprised, Billy. Why didn't you file our divorce papers?"
     "I didn't want a divorce in the first place, but I thought you did. A small part of me hoped that I would get a call from you one day asking if I had filed them yet,"
     "Now thinking about it, I never actually got a notification that they were finalized. I just assumed they were and you couldn't get a hold of me,"
"I couldn't let you go. I couldn't accept that we were done," he said as he brushed my hair out of my face.
     "What's the plan now? What are you going to tell your Father?"
"I'm gonna tell him the truth. I'm moving to Norway to spend the rest of my life with my wife and kid. Speaking of, when does he usually wake up?"
"He's already up. It's Saturday. Jamison usually takes him out for the day, so I can sleep in before catching up on my orders and getting some work done,"
"That's nice of him. You never told me about him. Why haven't we met before?"
"Do you remember when you looked in my finances and saw the money I sent to Lisa Monroe?"
"Are you finally going to tell me who she is?"
"She's my mother,"
     "I found her and then I found out about Jamison. Turns out she was an addict. That's why she left us. She had Jamie a few years after that. His dad left them. Lisa wasn't the best parent to him and kicked him out, so he moved in with me. We weren't really talking by then, so you never knew. The both of us just wanted to start fresh somewhere,"
"And that's how you ended up here?" he asked as he brushed my hair back.
"I wanted to live somewhere where no one knew me. No baggage. I wanted a fresh start,"
"Can I ask you something?" he asked. I nodded as I slid my hand across his chest.
"Were you ever going to tell me about Theo? I feel like I would've never known if I hadn't come here yesterday,"
"I needed time after I gave birth. I could barely wrap my head around it let alone think of calling you up with this. But the longer I went without calling you, the harder it got. Picking up that phone and dialing your number felt like the most difficult task. I felt like I was going to ruin your life. The media would've gone into a frenzy if they knew. I didn't want to have to face your Dad. God knows, what he would've done,"
"I wish you had called me. I hate that you were alone,"
     "I was never alone. I had Jamie and Theo,"
Before he could respond, I heard my front door unlock and rapid footsteps tap against the floor.
"Shit!" I whispered before rolling from under Billy.
"What is it? Who is that, Ella?"
"Leo, Cleo, and Miles are visiting today. I completely forgot. Get dressed!" I said as I hurriedly put on the dress I wore yesterday. He slid on his dress pants and shirt.
"Where's Auntie Auri and Uncle Jamie?" I heard my nephew's disappointment as I walked out of the room.
"They might be in the studio. I'll text—" Cleo began before freezing when she saw me. Or rather when she saw the man behind me.
"William?"
"It's nice to see you three," he greeted them. Miles immediately ran to him and jumped in his arms.
"Uncle Billy!" Billy hugged the little boy, picking him up in his arms.
"Hey, Miles. How are you?" he asked.
"I'm good. Do you live with Auntie Auri, Uncle Jamie, and Theo?" Miles asked. Billy glanced at me and smirked.
"Yes, I do." He said. Before anyone could respond, Jamie walked in with Theo strapped to his chest. He immediately grimaced at the sight of Billy as if he would've disappeared since last night.
"There's my boy," Leo said as he beamed at Theo who looked at him curiously.
      "Nice to see you too, Leo," Jamie said with an eye roll before handing Theo to him. He quickly hugged Cleo before eyeing Miles who was busy laughing while being tossed in the air by Billy before being set on the ground.
"Hi, Uncle Jamie!" Miles said before reaching for Jamison. Jamison smiled at the little boy and hugged him.
"How you been, kid?"
"I'm good. When are you, Aunt Auri, Uncle Billy, and Theo coming home?" he asked. My younger brother eyed me before looking back at our nephew.
"Well, this is our home, buddy. I know you miss us and we miss you too. You know that, right?"
"But who's going to help Mommy with the baby?" he asked, causing his parents to immediately tense. We looked at the two of them who let out a sigh.
"That was supposed to be a secret, remember?" Cleo couldn't help but smirk at the innocent little boy.
"You're pregnant?"
     "We were going to surprise you tonight, I swear," Cleo said as I rushed to hug her.
"Auntie, are you and Uncle Billy gonna come home to help Mommy with the baby?" Miles asked with worried eyes. I kneeled and wrapped my arms around him.
"I know this is new and a little scary, but there's nothing to be worried about. Your Mommy has you and Daddy to help her,"
"But I miss you," the little boy sulked. I could feel my eyes watering as I looked down at him.
     "I miss you so much, Miles, but I live here now. I can still be there for you even if I'm not physically with you in New York. I'm only a phone call and a plane ride away,"
     "Okay, Auntie," he said before picking up his tablet and sitting on the couch.
     "Can we talk?" Cleo asked. I'm surprised it took her so long to ask. I know she's dying to ask about Billy. I nodded before leading her to my bedroom. The moment the door shut, she let out a squeal.
"How long has he been here? Why didn't you tell me you two were even in contact again?"
"He's only been here since yesterday. I've barely had time to wrap my head around it,"
"So, how did he take finding out about Theo?"
"I can tell he's trying to find forgiveness and understand why I didn't tell him, but he's pissed and I can't blame him for that,"
"Is he staying here?" she asked.
"Yeah, he doesn't want to leave Theo,"
"Can I offer you a piece of unsolicited advice?" she asked as she leaned towards me. I nodded as I turned to her.
"You two are not 18 and 19 anymore. You are adults who love each other and have a child. I don't know much about your past, but please allow yourself to give him a fair shot. To give this relationship a chance,"
"I will. God, I love him so much. After all this time, this just feels too good to be true,"
"You know it's not, Auri. I have seen how that man looks at you. Seen how his entire world lights up the moment you look at him. He's in love with you,"
"I think I'm ready to forgive him. He's earned it. Even when I didn't want to believe he was capable of loving me, he's shown me how willing he is to prove his love and care for me. He's always opened up his heart and bared his soul to me,"
     "I'm so happy for you, Auri. I'm glad you two get to do this the right way, you know? It shouldn't be a huge difference though. I mean, you two were married after all,"
     "Are," I corrected her with a smirk. She widened her eyes and turned closer to me.
     "What?!"
     "I'll fill you in later. I'm really happy you're here, Clee,"
     "Me too,"